OPEN CASE:  Veronica Mars

VM 3X11

Aired: 01/30/07

Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves: Watch Your Step

Review by Fotada

Max and Chelsea meet during a Battlestar Galactica session at ComiCon. They hit it off instantly, share a magical night together, and only leave each other’s sides when Chelsea has to catch a plane the next day. She leaves him a note in his hotel room with her contact information, but unfortunately, housekeeping throws it away before he can retrieve it. Max is beside himself; he has no way to reach her. Then, a few weeks later, he receives a message: she’s tired of waiting for him so she’s getting back together with an ex-boyfriend. Now, Max is more determined than ever to find his true love and stop her from making a terrible mistake.

Sounds like the makings of a sweeping romance, doesn’t it? But this Veronica Mars. This ain’t no romance—this is noir, sweet cheeks.

Max approaches Veronica to solicit her services, and feeling like a prostitute, Veronica tells him, “You’re just like the rest of them, aren’t you? You just want to use me for my skills and pay me for my time and effort.” Max wonders whether he can use her without paying, but she declines.

Max needs her help to find Chelsea, but he doesn’t know her phone number, or even her last name. Max explains that he only knows two things about his perfect “10” of a woman: her first name, and that she’s from Poughkeepsie, NY. Veronica inquires, “So, about the one that got away—she was dressed as a Cylon, you only knew her as Six, right?” For those who don’t watch Battlestar, Cylons are robots who have overthrown their masters—man. Twelve Cylon models evolved to be virtually undetectable as non-humans and the Six model is a beautiful seductress who lured the brilliant if morally gray scientist Baltar to their side. Veronica’s snarky remark is closer to the truth that even she knows. Max’s “10” is a Six. “Chelsea,” also known as “Fiona,” also known as Wendy, is a professional escort, paid by Max’s room mates to help him lose a nasty case of virginity. She was paid $1,000 and coached to say all the right things. She had to look like “Milla Jovovich with a B cup,” and enjoy role-playing.

But back up a second. This might be noir, but this is Veronica Mars, after all, where romance isn’t quite dead yet. Max knows that, even if everything else was a lie, they did make a love connection. And to the amazement of a very dubious Veronica, he’s right. When Wendy sees Max again, she reciprocates his feelings. She tells Veronica, “When he was leaving, I felt this rush.” I thought about everything that led to that moment. All the choices that I made that got me to that exact time…how, if I made different ones, I could be with this sweet guy who was dropping me off at the airport, all teary-eyed.”

Veronica, the Queen of Cynicism, is gobsmacked. Is it possible that if two people really love each other, they can overcome all obstacles, even prostitution and deceit? She decides to test this on Logan, asking him if he has ever used been with a lady of the night. Logan sees this line of questioning as a relationship landmine. He’s going to have to step carefully, because at any moment it could all blow up in his face.

VERONICA: Look, why not dispel any romantic notions? If we see each other, warts and all, and still like each other, that's a real connection.

LOGAN: Well, maybe I enjoy my romantic notions. Maybe I don't care to see any warts, you know, yours or mine.

Logan dodges the question for the time being, but later when they are in bed, both naked and vulnerable, Veronica pushes the point. She explains, “I just want to get to a place with you where we can be really...intimate.” Logan relents and to Veronica’s relief, tells her that he’s never used an escort’s services. But just as he feared, the questioning continues, and the chances of a relationship explosion increases. The more he reveals, (about the alibi he provided for Mercer and whether he was with anyone else when he and Veronica were broken up) the greater the likelihood that he’s going to make a wrong move and set off a bomb.

And so it goes with Max and Wendy. Though Max doesn’t initially seem to have a problem with Wendy’s past life, the more it rears its ugly head, the more the cracks appear in their relationship’s veneer. Every potentially dangerous step, from Wendy describing her interactions with the kinky judge, to being recognized as an exotic dancer by Weevil, to being solicited by Max’s room mates to take a stripping gig, and finally to her admission that she never left a note for him in his hotel room, further weakens what was already on shaky footing.

And finally, both relationships hit a landmine. Max is duped into giving one of Wendy’s co-workers $1,000 when she comes to him supposedly battered by their pimp. Veronica exposes one of her own warts when, against Logan’s strong objections, she talks Max into blackmailing the judge in order to get the money back. It all backfires when Wendy’s pimp/agent and her assistant, Mr. Happy Fists, appear in the judge’s place. Max agrees to pay $10,000 to release Wendy from her indenture. But for all his noble sacrifice, it’s too late to save their love. All romantic notions have disappeared and only the warts remain.

Veronica doesn’t want what happened to Max and Wendy to happen to her and Logan, so she decides to buy some sexy lingerie to “get into the spirit of doing things normal girlfriends do” and “make more of an effort to please [her] man.” But just when she’s finally working to develop her intimacy skills, the rug gets pulled out from under her in true Veronica Mars fashion. She faces off with her arch nemesis, Madison Sinclair, who informs her with great relish that she and Logan had a fling when the two were broken up. Ker-plooey!

***

______________________________________________

Please join in the discussion of this review at the Soulful Spike Society Message Board. Go there NOW!

If you enjoyed this review and are reading it from outside the Soulful Spike Society website (www.soulfulspike.com), then click the logo below to access the S3 in a new window. There you will find more great reviews, analyses, fanfiction and a link to our marvelous message board.