§ Spike, my son, I have quite a task before me. And I require your assistance.
§ You do? Well, I hope I’ve got the right stuff. What’s the job needs doing?
§ We must gaze upon five lovely ladies, announce their names, and present the sexiest one with a prize.
§ Oh! May I choose the prize? I do believe I have the right stuff after all.
§ Ah. No, the prize is a Cutie Award from the S’cubies. Go ahead and have the honor of reading the name of the first exciting nominee.
§ Thank you, sir. I will. The first nominee is Rachel Bilson, as Summer, on The OC. Delicious.
§ Now, now Spike. Remember yourself. Our next nominee is Kristen Bell, as Veronica, on Veronica Mars. Blonde, brainy, and beautiful.
§ And tantalizing. As is our third nominee, Eliza Dushku, as Tru, on Tru Calling. Biteable. A nummy treat!
§ Spike! Are you forgetting where you are? The sun is shining; don’t ruin it now. The next nominee is Evangeline Lilly, as Kate, on Lost. Isn’t she exquisite?
§ She has an enticing neck - much like our final nominee, the tempting, provoking, alluring Eva Longoria as Gabrielle on Desperate Housewives. Tasty.
§ Show business is taking its toll on you. I knew it would. I think we had better get you indoors before it’s too late. The envelope, please.