Season 5

Episode 2

THE REAL ME: Idols and Idiots

By Spring Summers – 19-Jan-04

-More self discovery – Dawn & Buffy, Harmony & Spike – THE vampire – As others see us – Reconciling the contradictions – The role of work – Valuing ourselves and others – Spicy extras for James Marsters fans -

“You are the center. And within you, there is the core of your being, of what you are. Find it. Breathe into it.”

Breathe into your core, Buffy - bring it to life. It’s the message Giles gives Buffy at the beginning of the episode – you know, before they are rudely interrupted by Dawn.

Later in the episode, Buffy & Riley will have this exchange:

RILEY: “You seem really –“ (Buffy stops him by putting up her hand and looking very concerned about something she sees to her right.)

BUFFY: “Oh, trash can. From a distance, it looked kinda –“

RILEY: “Tense.”

BUFFY: “No, I was gonna say brown, squat, shadowy . . .”

RILEY: Uh-huh. Back to what I was saying before we were rudely attacked by nothing. You seem really tense.”

Hmmm. Seems Buffy is having a hard time telling the difference between something, and nothing.

Last week’s Season opener, Buffy vs Dracula, clearly indicated that Season 5 would examine the process of discovering and defining the self. With its title and repeated references to Dracula, The Real Me signals a continuation of this theme: As Xander learned, the Draculas of the world may have no real interest in you, and they may use you shamelessly. But ultimately it’s your call. Will you be a butt-monkey forever? Will you be something, or will you be nothing?

This week’s episode focuses on mystery-sister Dawn’s struggle to bloom in Buffy’s shadow, and Big-Bad-Wannabe Harmony’s coinciding determination to make it without Spike:

DAWN (in her journal): “Nobody knows who I am. Not the real me.”

HARMONY (to Spike, about having formed her own gang): “You just can’t stand the fact that I’m my own person now . . . I’ve found the real me, and I like her.”

The parallel being drawn between Dawn and Harmony also creates a parallel between Buffy and Spike:

Buffy is Dawn’s idol. Despite her complaints and disparaging comments, Dawn pays very close attention to her sister’s life. Among other things, she seems to have given a great deal of thought to how she would behave, if she were The Slayer.

Spike is Harmony’s idol. Despite Harmony’s indifferent act, we can see that Spike is her role-model. Look! Harmony has minions and she is trying to kill The Slayer. Sounds familiar, no? Sounds exactly like what Spike was doing in The Harsh Light of Day – the last time he and Harmony were really together as a couple.

SPIKE (to Harm): “Singing my song now, are you? You should pay me royalties for that one, or at least get your own tune.”

Dawn and Harmony look up to Buffy and Spike, respectively. But both find themselves treated with disdain and/or condescension by their heroes:

HARMONY (about killing The Slayer): “I’ve been doing my homework, reading books and stuff.”

SPIKE: “What, Evil for Dummies? Look at you, all puffed up and mighty, thinking you’re the new Big Bad. It’s – well, let’s face it. It’s adorable.”

BUFFY (to Riley & Xander, about Dawn inviting Harmony into the house): “No, no, it was common sense. But nobody expects even that much from Dawn, do they? No. She has to be protected and coddled from the big bad world, well you know what? We are doing nothing but turning her into a little idiot who is going to get us all killed.”

A little idiot who is going to get us all killed – this is precisely Harmony’s trajectory through the episode. So this phrase figuratively refers to Harmony as well as Dawn. Harmony gets all her minions killed. She is also a little idiot. But hang on to your hats because we’re going quickly around a curve here: So is Buffy. Yes, Buffy. Buffy is also the figurative little idiot in question.

Let’s take a look at the discussion that leads to the little idiot remark:

BUFFY: “I mean please. I would never have Harmony over even when she was alive.”

XANDER: “People slip, Buffy. Your mom did. She invited The Mas – Dracula. In for coffee.”

BUFFY: “Well, that was different. I mean she – he would – she was lonely, and she didn’t know he was a vampire. The vampire. Meanwhile, Dawn knew exactly what Harmony was and she rolled out the welcome mat for her.”

RILEY: “She’s just a kid.”

BUFFY: “You know - will everybody please stop saying that? I was just a kid when I met my first vampire, but somehow, I still managed to remember the rules.”

RILEY: “You had to. It was your job.”

BUFFY: “No it was common sense . . . we are doing nothing but turning her into a little idiot who is going to get us all killed.”

OK. Notice that Xander shows us some minor lingering Dracula-thrall effects. And when Buffy is defending her mom, we can see in her manner, and her words (“-he would-“), that she is remembering not just her mother’s vulnerability to vamp-charm, but her own. And notice something else. The camera is on Buffy’s right, and it closes in on her head and shoulders as she ends the discussion by saying:

BUFFY: “She has to be more careful. I can’t be there to protect her 24 hours a day. I just can’t.”

And look. There. Right there, on her neck. There it is, clear as daylight: What remains of the Dracula-inflicted puncture wounds, boldly outlined by the whitish, bite-shaped scars Angel left behind.

Angel. The vampire. The one she invited in even though she knew exactly what he was. You remember - back when she managed to forget the rules, and nearly got them all killed. She should have been more careful. Her mother and Giles weren’t there to protect her, 24 hours a day. No wonder Buffy is freaking out about Dawn’s behavior as young teen:

HARMONY (to Spike, about killing The Slayer): “I’m not going to make the same mistakes you did.”

Poor Dawn – her struggle to define herself in the strange town of Sunnydale is hindered by in part by her sister’s overbearing attitude, an attitude born of circumstances for which Dawn bears no responsibility. This episode, explores, among other things, the way the lives and attitudes of others shape us.

• Spike has influenced Harmony – even as his own strengths have inspired Harmony toward growth, his dismissive attitude hurts and hinders.
• Buffy influences Dawn – even as her strengths inspire growth, her anger and condescension hurt and hinder.
• Joyce influences Buffy – Joyce’s very protective attitude toward Dawn is reflected in Buffy’s mindset and concerns.
• Giles influences Buffy - He has formally become Buffy’s mentor once again, and she is giving up a class to spend more time training with him.
• Harmony has minions.
• Buffy has The Scoobies.
• Giles contends that his new car seduced him.

Our human vulnerability to the influence of others is a result of our need for approval, acceptance, and inclusion. And that need – to establish an identity by association - is underlined by the appearance and mention of well-defined groups. Here are some examples:

• Harmony has a gang.
• Dawn and Tara are non-Scoobies.
• Mort comments on how outsider Spike “kills our kind.”
• Willow suggests that Giles doesn’t understand because he’s British.
• Dawn and Buffy both mention generational differences between themselves and Giles and Joyce, respectively.
• Despite his outsider status and complete inability to defend himself, Spike does make an initial attempt to protect fellow vampire Harmony by lying to Buffy, saying he doesn’t know her whereabouts.
• In the end, Buffy and Dawn hang together as sisters, and don’t tell Mom about their various indiscretions.

Further emphasizing the need for social connections, and for external validation of our worth, are the many images of people trying to impress and charm others:

• Riley tries to make a good impression on Joyce by telling her: “You look great.” It goes over better, he says, than “I’m here to violate your first born.”
• Giles tries to impress Willow and Tara with his sporty new car.
• Spike tries to impress Harmony by mentioning his new TV, and by telling her “You look good.” No doubt he thinks that might go over better than “I’m lonely and horny - come on over to my place so I can violate you.”
• Harmony tries to impress Spike with her gang.

Some people are impressed by our presentations, some are not. Some people love us, some people hate us. Some people respect us, some treat us with contempt. Some people put us on a pedestal, some grossly underestimate us. Some people do all of these things, all in the same day. There are many, many images in this episode of contradictory, varying, and very individual views of others. Here are just a few:

• HARMONY. The minions listen to and follow Harmony – but later, they mutiny (except for “sire whipped” Brad, who abstains). Spike, Xander, and Buffy laugh at her.
• BUFFY. The Scoobies listen to Buffy as a leader - but later, chide her for her attitude toward Dawn. Joyce chastises her for being irresponsible.
• ANYA. Anya is Xander’s girlfriend, but Dawn can’t stand her.
• XANDER. Dawn has a crush on Xander, and says he “went undercover” to defeat Dracula; Harmony thinks he’s a loser, and says he was Dracula’s “lapdog.” Willow theorizes that Xander might be making Tara uncomfortable; Tara says he’s a sweetie.
• GILES. Buffy listens to Giles - but she also teases him, causing him to say “Perhaps, as I am to act as your Watcher again, a modicum of respect is in order.” Dawn considers him an anachronism.
• SPIKE. Harmony idolizes Spike, but Buffy uses him as a punching bag.
• JOYCE. Buffy thinks Dawn is Joyce’s favorite; Dawn thinks Buffy is Joyce’s favorite; Xander insists she loves them equally.
• DAWN. Dawn correctly mentions that she is old enough to be considered a babysitter by some people; Joyce and Buffy think she needs a babysitter.

Many references to money and prices (e.g., Giles and the magic shop profits, the unicorn for $12.95, Anya’s request to trade-in her “Game of Life” children for money) emphasize the way our value can be externally determined – chosen at the whim of by whoever happens to be walking by with the price gun, at any given moment.

And so, though it can be a learning experience, and it may be a gift (as poet Robert Burns contended), to “see ourselves as other see us,” it also presents a challenge: So much is contradictory (“I’m plotting your death, but in a happy way.” “J Come out and die.J”). So many mirrors reflect back so many different images, at so many different angles (note the interesting use of mirrors in the ep). How are we to know who we are?

We must do what Giles tells Buffy to do: Find our core. And more than that, find that which does not depend upon what others think or what the ruthless laws of the external Universe demand. Find that which depends instead on what is internal and inherent and unchanged and unchangeable. Find that which develops not from following others, but from – if I may quote Matthew Arnold – “acting what one knows.”

Ultimately, we build our own identities. We prepare, like Buffy with her Slayer training, and then we go out and we fight to construct our own lives, to win at The Game of Life. We learn to recognize and value our real selves, no matter how distorted the mirror has been placed in front of us by others, no matter how low (or high) a price has been stamped upon our brows.

That work plays a strong and important role in establishing our identities, and in developing our feelings of self-worth, is a definite theme in this episode. The word “work” is used continuously, and notice the following:

• Joyce is seen preparing for, and talking about, her work. It is plainly important to her.
• Giles says of his new automatic transmission: “I loathe sitting here, not contributing.”
• Says a mysterious lunatic who approaches Dawn (the sudden Slayer sister): “You can’t loiter. There’s no loitering.”
• Says Spike about why he kills other vampires: “Bloke’s gotta have a hobby, don’t he?” And he calls himself a “professional” Slayer-slayer.
• Riley points out that Buffy knew the rules about vampires at a young age because that was “her job.”
• Buffy points out how terrible Harmony has been at previous jobs: “When you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the homecoming committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad – you suck.” A vampire who sucks at her job? Kind of a problem for Harmony, as she searches for the “real me.”
• And finally Giles sums it all up when it comes to the importance of work: “It’ll give me focus. Increase my resources. And it’ll prevent you lot from trampling all over my flat at all hours. There may even be space for you to train in the back.” It will keep me positive and distract me from brooding. It will increase my worldly value. It will give me more independence from others. And it will allow me to feel useful to others, on my own terms...

It is when we learn to value ourselves that we leave behind the foolish and blinding need to make ourselves feel important by disparaging others. Still young and unsure of themselves, most of our characters do just that, and the folly of hurting or sneering at others to make oneself feel better is demonstrated over and over:

• “Oh scary vampires,” says Dawn, trying to discount her sister’s heroism, “they die from a splinter.” But her cavalier attitude does not serve her well. Vampires turn out to be very dangerous after all, and Buffy saves her life.
• Spike, Xander and Buffy laugh at Harmony, but she’s been “honing her instincts” and preparing herself. Her antics get Spike punched painfully and repeatedly in the nose by Buffy. She nearly kills Xander, and manages to have Dawn kidnapped.
• Buffy punches Spike, even after he’s told her where Harmony is – for no other reason than she’s angry and needs to blow off steam. She thinks he’s harmless. But Spike doesn’t look so toothless as he stares after her.
• Minion Cyrus laughs at Dawn when she tells him that if he touches her, her sister will kill him. A half-second later he touches her, and he’s dust.

Forms of the word “important” are used many times in the dialogue, and Giles tells Buffy, who is joking about the missing books in The Magic Box: “Come on, Buffy, this could be very serious.”

Understanding others, and figuring out who and what is important in our lives, is essential. We see many images of miscommunication – for example:

• Buffy doesn’t get Dawn’s Hogwarts reference.
• Dawn doesn’t get why her mom “got really quiet” when she expressed a wish to let Tara & Willow teach her “some of the things they do together.”
• Harmony doesn’t get it, at first, when Cyrus asks: “When are we gonna do it?”
• BUFFY: “It’s not like she saw the body or anything.” JOYCE: “Oh, well. That makes it all right then, doesn’t it?” BUFFY: “That’s not what I meant.”
• Mort doesn’t get it when Harmony sarcastically says, about chaining up Dawn: “I trust you made our guest comfortable?”

We must strive to understand others, and to know and to see them clearly. Underestimating others due to our own need for self-aggrandizement blinds us and makes us extremely vulnerable to the very people we hold in contempt. And dangerously (and not coincidentally) it can make those same folks very angry:

HARMONY: “After Buffy is gone? I’m gonna kill everybody in this town that was ever mean to me – Spike!”

Harmony has already started on that crusade apparently, since she sired Brad Koenig, the very guy who stood her up in 10^th grade. I’m sure Brad must have thought it was perfectly safe, blowing off a harm-less little ditz like Harm.

Miscalculations like Brad’s can be very dangerous. Look at how the episode ends: Buffy is laughing merrily at Spike and his Passions, and Dawn is writing the following in her journal:

“She still thinks I’m Little Miss Nobody, just her dumb little sister. Boy, is she in for a surprise.”

Dawnie, you said a mouthful.

Spicy extras for James Marsters fans:

• That is quite a sizzling little scene between Spike & Harmony. HARMONY: “I feel good.” SPIKE: “I remember.” Yes, I’m certain he does. But she doesn’t go for the old “new telly in my crypt” ploy, and Spike walks off on his own.
• Writer David Fury and Director David Grossman, doing commentary on the DVD, both gush over James and his portrayal of Spike, calling it “magic.”
• Spike makes his first blatantly flirty comment to Buffy when he says: “Speaking of dishes . . .” as she approaches him. Up to this point, he has been so bold only in Something Blue, when he and Buffy were under Willow’s spell, and in Superstar, when he was under Jonathan’s spell, along with Buffy. But Buffy isn’t under any spell in this episode, and she’s neither flattered nor intimidated. She lets him have it.
• And then, she lets him have it again and again. But here’s the thing: It may be a superfluous punch in the face, but it’s still extra attention, to Spike. He looks both angry and speculative, as watches her leave. Buffy may not see it, but we do: He’s not going to take this forever. Something’s gotta give, someday.