Season 5

Episode 16

 

THE BODY: Tell me no lies

by Spring Summers – 10-OCT-04

 

- The power of deathThe reality of deathWobbly stepsHearing and speechSlow re-entryTime barriers - Reconnecting -

 

Death is the most powerful thing I’ve ever experienced. In the single instant that ended my husband’s life, Death stomped all over my best laid plans, it overcame my years of effort, and it shattered my painstakingly constructed fortress walls as if they were made of a whisper. Love didn’t stop Death, and luck didn’t stop it, and prayers and curses didn’t stop it. The needs of a desperate young family were irrelevant, and the medicines and the doctors were no obstacle. They – we, he - all lay down like sheep, in the end.

 

Death is senseless and insensate: It has no eyes to see your suffering, or ears to hear your begging, or mouth to ask your permission. It does not need permission; it respects no boundaries; it does not answer to man’s logic or laws. Death steamrolled me. It laid me so flat and so thin that it squeezed everything out of me, including my breath. I’ve never tried to write about it directly, until now. And until I saw Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, episode 5.16, I’d never really seen my experience clearly and unflinchingly portrayed in fiction.

 

I’d never seen my experience clearly and unflinchingly.

 

SeeingThe Body on FX reruns hooked me on Whedon’s series, it mesmerized me - and it gutted me. Approximately 15 years after my loved one’s death, it provided a long overdue catharsis. I cried so hard, I still cry so hard every time I see it, because of the relief of feeling finally connected. No – not to my grief. I made that link years ago. My tears aren’t about the release of repressed sorrow. They are about the relief of feeling understood and validated. When I first saw The Body, I didn’t even know Joss Whedon’s name. But I do now, and I love Joss for this episode, and I will always love him for this episode.

 

So, S’cubies – analyzing this one is a special challenge, and I’m not sure how I’m going to hold up, or measure up. But as my late mother used to say, “Coraggio!”:

 

In Checkpoint we learned it was all about the power. Buffy tested the limits of her power and found them luxuriously lengthy. But in this episode we see just where that power ends.

 

SPIKE (to Buffy, in Fool For Love): “Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day.”

 

Now we learn that Buffy is not so much Death’s painter, as its paintbrush. The powerlessness of all human beings (even The Chosen One), in the face of Death, is seen in many images throughout the episode. Some examples are below:

 

  • In trying to fix the burnt pumpkin pie, Buffy ruins it.
  • A complication from surgery, to try to fix Joyce’s health problem, kills Joyce.
  • Dawn mentions that she’d like to make Kirsty’s head explode with the power of her mind, but she can’t.
  • In a moment of bravado, Xander mentions superheroes as if he and the rest of the Scoobies had superpowers. (“The Avengers gotta get to the assembly.”)
  • Willow is falsely telling herself that what she wears to the morgue is very significant.

 

I mentioned above that Death doesn’t answer to the laws of man – but it is a slave to the laws of physics. When the temperature and length of exposure combine in a particular manner, when the force applied exceeds the resistance, and when the pressure is just so - the pie burns, the ribs crack, and the blood vessel bursts. When physical conditions specify, Death must arrive.

 

We’re looking at human vulnerability to, and powerlessness against, a relentless, impersonal environment. Though it is Death which has the ultimate power to end our lives, every moment of our lives is affected by all of the immutable physical laws of our Universe. As Joss mentions in his DVD commentary, this is a continual theme in The Body, and he deliberately uses coarse words and images that remind us of physical realities –including less personal deaths - that are part of our everyday existence:

 

  • We see a stripped turkey carcass at the holiday table, and Anya comments later in the hospital that “the sandwiches are meat.”
  • We hear “barf” and “vomit” referred to, and we see Buffy vomiting.
  • We hear Dawn’s friend flush a toilet, leave the stall, and wash her hands.
  • Dawn mentions that she needs “to pee.”
  • Dawn is confronted by an extremely grotesque, nude male vampire.

 

So Buffy, who’d rather not hear about barf at the dinner table (“Xander!”), has to deal now with her mother’s dead body. Our first up-close-and-personal encounter with Death forces us outside, out of the sheltered wombs where we worry about whether our underclothes show, or what cute boys think of us, or where we politely wish strangers good luck. It squeezes us out, squalling, into raw reality. And when Death pushes us out into the real world for the first time, it, paradoxically, feels like a birth. It’s a fast forced trip down a long dark hallway. And we are – OK, let me go for it, I was – I was stunned speechless by the harsh and horrible light. Surprise! The world was so very, very, much different than I had previously realized. It took awhile, to catch my first breath - to find my legs and my voice again, to learn to walk and to talk.

 

So for the second time in her life, Buffy is cut loose from her mother. The contra-indicated birth-like aspect of the experience of Death is represented in several ways:

 

  • There are many images relating to the female body, that giver of life: Joyce’s body, the nude female statue, and the sign on the hospital bathroom door.
  • The characters exhibit childlike behavior in response to Death: Buffy calls out for “Mommy,” Anya cries and speaks with intense vulnerability, Willow cries and cannot seem to dress herself, and Xander hits something.
  • The new-risen vampire approaches Dawn with awkward, shaky steps.

 

But the shock fades, and the reality slowly seeps in - inexorably, like vomit onto a paper towel. Our senses inform us, they provide the means through which the cold truth enters. Even our own words serve as knives.

 

911 OPERATOR: “Are you alone in the house?”

BUFFY: “Yes.”

 

She already knows her mother is dead, but she isn’t listening to herself. Then later:

 

BUFFY (to Giles): “We’re not supposed to move the body!”

 

This time, she hears.

 

The crucial role of words – their use as transitional vehicles for the movement of outer reality into our inner worlds – is noted in the frequent use of the word “call,” most notably here:

 

PARAMEDIC #1: “She’s cold, man.”

PARAMEDIC #2: “Call it.”

 

Their words make it official, their words bring the message formally to those who remain: Joyce is dead.

 

The importance of words in realizing reality is further noted in the distortion of the speech and hearing of Buffy and The Scoobies, as they suffer through the detachment and isolation born of shock:

 

  • Buffy is having so much trouble comprehending others that she must focus on the paramedic’s mouth to try to understand his words.
  • The doctor says one thing, but Buffy hears another.
  • Xander and Willow have this odd exchange, after Willow pretends she wants to fight him: XANDER: “You know I can’t take you.” WILLOW: “Damn straight.”

 

Xander looks at Willow with such wonder in his face after that exchange that - call me crazy out loud - it seems to me that shock has slowed down his senses enough that he’s actually noted, and been amazed by, the phrasing that has just rolled off both of their tongues. I think Xander has noticed what I noticed, i.e. the other truth these words convey: XANDER: “I can’t ever have sex with you.” WILLOW: “You got that right. Because I’m a gay woman, and you, buddy, are a straight man.”

 

In the throes of devastating grief, our inner clocks slow, our vision clouds, our hearing dims, and our words form strangely and sluggishly. The inability to look Death straight in the face is represented by the constant, off-center camera work, the words that don’t quite hit the mark (“Mom had an accident.”), and the talk of negative space. We all want to look at everything and anything but the body. We define Death by the empty space it leaves behind. Life is the thing; death is the lack of it. Death itself is unknowable, unthinkable, unfathomable:

 

ANYA: “I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s – there’s just a body. And I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid. And Xander’s crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever. And she’ll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever. And no one will explain to me why.”

WILLOW: “We don’t know why – how it works.”

 

We don’t know why. But outside, life goes on. While Buffy is throwing up, somewhere else in the neighborhood, someone is practicing music. The paramedics have to respond to another call, Xander gets a ticket, Anya and Willow take care of Xander’s hand, Giles has forms to fill out, and Buffy has a vampire to fight.

 

Dawn mentions, to her classmate Kevin, that she once caused herself physical pain in order to distract herself from emotional pain. We see Xander use the same technique when he smashes his hand through Willow’s dorm room wall:

 

WILLOW: “Did it make you feel better?”

XANDER: “For a second there.”
WILLOW: “A whole second?”

 

And we note how the need to help Xander, the identification of something they can competently address, also momentarily distracts Anya and Willow from their pain and sense of helplessness. Xander, Anya, and Willow have already, without even knowing it, begun a re-entry into this new, motherless (and therefore more adult) world. Buffy’s return to “her job” serves much the same purpose. The fight against the vampire is not the usual choreographed mix of kicks and flips and graceful leaps, ending with a quick stake to the heart. The fight is vulgar and ugly: very raw, crude and physical. It ends horribly, with Buffy applying enough pressure with a saw-tooth knife, to cut the vampire’s head off. But still, like Xander’s hand injury, the violent tussle with a naked vampire momentarily distracts Buffy, and seems to help her feel better – for a little while.

 

Time seems to stand still for Buffy at first; but it doesn’t, not really. It can’t. Earlier I mentioned inescapable physical laws, and in the images of the continuing demands of life, we get a particular look at the most significant law of all: Time marches ever, and only, forward.

 

JOYCE (in Buffy’s dream of a happy ending): “Buffy, thank God you found me in time.”

 

And that’s exactly where Joyce is now – lost in Time. She’s a thing of the past. Buffy can remember her mother in Time Past, but she can’t actually find her there. No matter how she might dream otherwise, she can only move forward through Time.

 

Death is final. We have no choice but to leave the dead behind in the past. They are forever physically inaccessible to us. They do not follow us forward in Time; we cannot spend another second with our beloved. We cannot spend another microsecond. He or she is forever unavailable for further interaction - and oh, God, how that hurts. But our loved ones can continue in our memories, and in our thoughts, for all our days. Their personal effects remain – to quote Willow’s line about some of the stars she sees in the night sky, in Listening to Fear:

 

“In the time that it takes for their light to reach us, they’ve died.”

 

The connection that is severed in our physical life remains in our private, spiritual life, and in our inner, emotional life. The existence of that remaining link is represented in this episode by the way Joyce’s body remains so clearly nearby. It is right down the hall:

 

  • BUFFY (about the squad): “When will they be here?”

911 OPERATOR: “They’re very nearby.”

 

  • WILLOW (to Xander): Where did your hand go?”

XANDER (later in the conversation): “In my defense, some crappy wallmanship.”

WILLOW: “Yeah, you can hear everything next door.”

XANDER: “Who did the drywall in this place?”
WILLOW: “I always forget to ask.”

 

  • BUFFY: It’s not her. It’s not her. She’s gone.”

DAWN: “Where’d she go?”

 

Here, I flashback to Joyce, behind the wall in Restless. She’s very nearby. She’s in the same place that Xander’s hand went - just behind that flimsy wall of unknown origin. I notice that Willow is in room 213. Last year, Buffy and Willow lived in 214: The past is right next door; it can be heard through the walls. So amidst the many images of isolation that nearly overwhelm this episode, there are reminders of our connections to the people and places that populate our past, and our present.

 

Everyone deals differently with their grief:

 

  • Buffy tries to retreat into her imagination, and failing that, becomes numb.
  • Dawn goes into a state of ever-crumbling denial, and is desperate to see and touch her mother.
  • Willow redirects her hurt and anxiety by obsessing about her clothes.
  • Xander turns his pain into anger, and looks for someone to blame.
  • Anya’s pain and fear manifest themselves in her worried babbling, until they are released by tears.
  • The more experienced Giles and Tara distract themselves by helping.

 

Tara says: “It’s always different.” But then she goes on to note the universal nature of the experience as well: “It’s always sudden.” The episode isn’t just about the differences and the seclusion; it’s also about the similarities and the connections.

 

Dawn feels better when Kevin commiserates with her; Xander is relieved when Willow sees through his anger and offers to fight with him; Xander is comforted by the fact that Tara understands how the pain in his hand is helping him; Buffy takes solace in Giles’ presence and Tara’s words of empathy.

 

Death takes our loved ones away from us. They can not get back in their bodies, and we can not force them, with the power of our minds or anything else, back into those bodies. One way or another, Death ultimately wins those battles - every time. But the living can go on living. The living can accept love and comfort from others; the living can reestablish connections.

 

Death can take your parent, your spouse, even your child – and in doing so, it can deaden you so thoroughly that, like Buffy, you don’t even know if “you’re here.” That’s the feeling: That you can’t be here; that there is no here; that you’re uncertain, even, which one of you has died. At first. But then, eventually, you notice that your heart is still beating. And as long as your heart is beating, you have the power. You don’t have to let Death take you, not just yet. Not while your heart is still beating.

 

DAWN: “That’s such a lie! I got cut. By accident. One time. Now Kevin thinks I’m a -”

FRIEND: “Well, that was when you were wigging out about your family. And of course, Kirsty’s gotta turn everything into a story. She was telling people you were adopted.”

 

In my analysis of I Was Made to Love You, I noted Joyce’s death, and I bemoaned the fact that I had ever invited Joss into my home. But now, I see that he has returned the favor. In his DVD commentary, he mentions that the grief that is so vividly and faithfully portrayed in The Body is based primarily on his own experience with his mother’s death. So, at some cost, he has offered me entry into a piece of himself. Thank you, Joss, for the invite. I accept with wonder and admiration for your most amazing, courageous (and ever-so-rare) feat: Turning everything into a story, without turning anything into a lie.

 

***

 

 

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