Season 2

Episode 17

PASSION: The High Cost of Living

-The choices we make – Protecting ourselves – Conclusion – Spicy extras for James Marsters fans -

This episode opens with Angel stalking Buffy at the Bronze. As he watches her dance with Xander, we hear him in a voice-over: "Passion. It lies in all of us, sleeping. Waiting. And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir – open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, it guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?"

Angel’s words tell us that any control we exert over our lives is illusory; ultimately, we are all love’s bitch whether we welcome it or not. But the episode as a whole suggests that it is not so simple. Yes, as humans we can be helpless and fragile prey to both our inner demons and the outer hazards of life. But we have choices to make:

WE CHOOSE WHAT TO VALUE: This episode features a scene with the magic shop owner and his pricing gun, stamping prices on various items. Listen for the many references to the way we assign value to the people and things in our lives. A few examples are below:

• Buffy tells Willow she’s sorry Angel has killed all of Willow’s tropical fish. Willow responds: "Oh, it’s OK. We hadn’t really had time to bond yet."
• Angel tells Jenny that the Orb of Thesula is an example of "shoddy gypsy craftsmanship."
• Joyce tells Buffy she loves her "more than anything in the world."
• Xander mentions that Giles has "everyday weapons" and "good weapons" that he breaks out when company comes to visit.

WE CHOOSE WHOM TO INVITE INTO OUR LIVES, AND WHOM TO REJECT – and we choose to accept or refuse invitations and rejections: Nearly every scene involves an invitation, or talk of past invitations. Doorways are prominently featured. People are either welcome or unwelcome, and they decide whether or not to enter (or barge in). Again, several examples among many:

• Jonathan interrupts a Scooby meeting in the school library because he is looking for some books. Xander says to the mystified Jonathan: "Excuse me, but have you ever heard of knocking?"
• Angel has taken up residence in the factory and has continued his cruel teasing of Spike, who is confined to a wheelchair and apparently impotent. Spike explodes saying: "Have you forgotten that you’re a bloody guest in my bloody home?"
• Jenny enters the Magic Shop and is greeted: "Welcome! How may I serve you today?"
• Cordelia is her usual insensitive self while she is in Willow’s room, and Buffy gives her the message that she’s no longer welcome: "You know, Cordelia . . . call it a night if you want."
• Buffy & the Scoobies ignore the yellow crime scene tape and enter Giles’ apartment.
• Spike prevents Dru from helping Angel during his fight with Giles, suggesting she should wait for an invitation: "No fair going into the ring unless he tags you first."
• Giles tells Buffy, though she has just saved him from certain death during his fight with Angel: "Why did you come here? This wasn’t your fight!!"

And so, because we allow ourselves to value people and things, because we open our homes and our hearts, and because we become entangled in the lives of others, we become vulnerable. We find ourselves at the mercy of our passions, at each other’s mercy, and at the mercy of unnamable and uncaring external forces. We are subject to being – no we are CERTAIN to be – deeply hurt by loss and disappointment.

Angel tells us in a voiceover near the end of the episode, that there are moments in our lives that hurt "sometimes more than we can bear." And during those moments we all may become slaves to passion – no - again, we are CERTAIN to become slaves to passion, in one way or another, at one time or another.

But we try to protect ourselves - from others, from the fickle finger of fate, and from our own costly mistakes. Buffy and her friends and family are seen using various methods:

TAKING IT BACK: Willow tries to protect everyone from their former decision to trust Angel by doing a de-invite spell. But Angel finds a way to devastate them anyhow. Jenny confesses her love for Giles, and then asks if she can take it back – but it’s too late, she’s increased their vulnerability to each other 100 fold. Angel marvels at a computer print out: "It’s a miracle to me. You put the secrets of restoring my soul in here . . . and it comes out here." What we allow into our lives has direct and linked consequences; there is no taking it back, no putting the oranges back in the bag. There is only damage control.

MAGIC: The magic shop owner mentions Ouija boards and rabbits’ feet – his customers try ineffectually to protect themselves by trying to gain knowledge of the future or by believing they can control their luck.

LYING: Jenny mentions how she lied about her gypsy background because she thought it was best; Giles encourages Buffy to continue lying to her mother about her Slayerhood. Buffy lies to her mother about Angel. They try to protect themselves and others – but the truth will out.

IGNORING THE PROBLEM: When Buffy tells Giles that Angel has been in her room, he responds by suggesting she go about her business as usual. "So . . . just ignore him, and maybe he’ll go away?" asks Buffy. "Yes, precisely," says Giles. He tells her, with a knowing air, that she mustn’t let Angel get to her, "no matter how provocative his behavior may become." It is significant that this bit of advice comes from Giles, who has been employing the "just ignore it and keep a level head" method of dealing with his own inner Ripper for quite some time. But though he plainly considers himself above it all and in control, this method has failed him before, and it will fail him spectacularly in the face of Angel’s murder of Jenny. Angel also uses this method, ignoring Spike’s warnings and claiming he’s got everything under control right before Giles bursts in to send the factory up in flames. We are most vulnerable when we feel safest, when we dare believe ourselves unsinkable. Like the Titanic, we are going down.

BEING READY: Preparation is mentioned several times – Joyce has tried to steel herself against the pains of parenthood by reading all the parenting books. "You cannot surprise me," she says to Buffy. But she is wrong. Willow spends five hours preparing for a class she doesn’t teach. "First times" are a theme here – Buffy’s first time with Angel, Joyce’s first time having "the talk" with Buffy, Willow’s first time teaching, Giles & Jenny are heading for their first time, and Giles tells Buffy that in all his time as a Watcher, Jenny’s death represents the first time he’s buried someone he loved. And what we see is that preparation doesn’t substitute for experience. Search as we might, there is no alternative to walking through the fire.

Death is the only protection from the slings and arrows of life – a living death, or an actual one. If we allow ourselves to love, we are as open to attack as Spike in his wheelchair – Dru bathes him, carries him around, and changes him. We are as defenseless as the orphaned puppy that she offers him. More so than Spike, the puppy is the ultimate symbol of dependence and vulnerability – a tiny needy creature that gives love and trust unconditionally. At the hands of those we have loved and trusted, our hearts can shatter like fine glass, our necks can snap as easily as dry twigs.

There are moments that surprise us so utterly, that hurt us so badly that we find ourselves - like Giles standing before Jenny’s still body - stunned, speechless, and barely able to breathe. Life hurts, but there’s no getting out of it alive. You can choose a living death, or you can live until death, like Angel at Jenny’s heels, brings your life to an end after one last run. If you choose the former, you deaden yourself. You miss the pain, but you also miss everything else: Passion (Angel tells us) is "the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief . . . without passion, we’d be truly dead."

When the dramatic moments are over - when the police are gone or the rubble has been cleared or the noise has stopped - some semblance of peace is restored to us. But we have to face another day, and we have to make another decision: Where do we go from here? Do we remain slaves to our passions, hold on to the past, ceaselessly seek revenge or wallow in our pain? Do we clamp down on our feelings and exist only in the margins? Or do we accept our loss, raise ourselves up, and get back to ourselves? Do we risk it all again?

The final scene in Passion is Willow in front of Jenny’s classroom. Her earlier hesitation is gone. She has risen to the occasion, and is ready to fill in for Miss Calendar until the new computer science teacher arrives. While we watch Willow quietly and confidently make her announcement, we hear Buffy’s words from Jenny’s gravesite as a voice over. Buffy too, is moving forward. She says to Giles:

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t kill him for you . . . I wasn’t ready. But I think I finally am. I can’t hold on to the past anymore. Angel is gone. Nothing’s ever gonna bring him back."

Brave words. She will need that courage and conviction to see her through the weeks ahead – because Buffy is wrong. She’s not finally ready for everything that’s in store. Like the rest of us, she can never be.

• Juliet is again looking very comfy with James as Dru sticks her hand in Spike’s shirt during their first scene.
• Dru is giving Spike a puppy named Sunshine and telling him to open up? Why didn’t she just name it Guillotine or Wooden Stake through the Heart? And right after she offers Spike Sunshine, she mentions she’s worried that the morning sun might hurt Angel. Oh, our poor Spike. Giles isn’t the only one working up a murderous fury toward Angel in this episode.
• I am getting tired of the wheelchair. I like to see Spike striding. I want to see the whole length of his body again.