Season 5

Episode 15

 

I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU:  Handcrafted

by Spring Summers – 04-OCT-04

 

- Love storiesLooking for LoveBeing yourselfChoices and the real thingLove and the lack thereofClear-eyed and open-minded - ForeshadowingSpicy extras for James Marsters fans -

 

We are all made to love one another.  Sometimes, unexpectedly, a fellow human being will say something that well and truly floors me.  In one of those rarest of rare moments – i.e. the wholly unguarded moment - something pops to the surface.  And suddenly, I’m looking through someone’s eyes and right into that bright, pure, and perfect center.  In that instant, my mouth opens in a semi-smile.  My own eyes sparkle with the knowing.  I can actually feel my heart fill with joy.  I feel it, I know it:  Look!  There you are! And I love you.  I love you.  And it just feels so good.

 

Yes.  We were all made to love one another.  This episode is full of simple scenes of love.  It opens with a moment much like the one I mentioned above.  Xander (dressed in a puffy-punching bag suit) is at his simple, straightforward, and Xanderrific best, and he lets it all hang out:

 

BUFFY:  “I could laugh at his jokes!  I mean, men like that, right, the joke laughing at?”

XANDER:  “Or maybe you could just be Buffy, he’ll see your amazing heart, and fall in love with you.”

 

Ah, Xander.  If Xander is Buffy’s heart, well then yes, Buffy’s heart is amazing.  But, I notice, it’s also so well padded that it’s extremely inflexible. (XANDER:  I’m not that bendy.”)   And in its insulated, rigid state, pain is the only way it knows it’s alive:

 

BUFFY:  “I’m sorry, I guess I got carried away!  Are you OK?”

XANDER: “I’m alive.  I can tell ‘cause of the pain.”

 

Hmmm.  But despite the padding and the pain, Xander can still love.  He shows Buffy his own amazing heart, and look how love just spills out of Buffy in return.   How can she help it?  We also watch Joyce and her girls love one another; we hear love in Giles’ voice when he teases Xander about research; we sense the love between Buffy & Giles as they laugh about Dawn, and we note the love they share for Dawn.  We hear the love between Buffy & Xander again, at the end of the episode. 

 

BUFFY:  “I don’t need a guy right now.  I need me.  I need to get comfortable being alone with Buffy.”

XANDER:  “Well, I’ll say this, she’s a pretty cool person to be alone with.”

 

Love, love, love.  The episode is full of mentions of spring, when our thoughts turn to love.  Our robot’s name is April.  And there are flowers, flowers, everywhere – those blossoming, breathtaking, short-lived symbols of love, often sacrificed in the name of love.  (“Thank you for a lovely evening.  See you soon?  Brian.”)  We see both ends of the Spectrum of Love in this episode – from the warm, spontaneous, selfless, authentic Xander-Buffy love to the cold, pre-programmed, self-centered, artificial Warren-April love.  And we look at some of the crazy stuff in between.

 

The episode starts out creating a parallel between April and Buffy’s concurrent searches for love.

 

  • XANDER (to Buffy):  “You ever think maybe the reason you haven’t found a great relationship on the Hellmouth is because it’s a Hellmouth?”
  • CAR DRIVER (to April):  “You sure you wanna get out here?  I mean this place is kinda – what are you looking for in Sunnydale, anyway?”  APRIL:  “True love.”


Despite the warnings about Sunnydale’s unusual ambiance, both April and Buffy are dead set on giving the search for true love a try.  April searches relentlessly, bound and determined to find
Warren and to win him over by being everything that he wants her to be.  Buffy uses the same sort of tactic at the Spring Break party.  She sees Ben first, but pretends not to see him, letting him believe that he initiated first contact.  Men like that, you know; a girl shouldn’t seem too forward.  She smiles too broadly and she laughs too loudly, and she makes a noticeably forced effort to ask him about himself.

 

BUFFY (earlier, to Xander):  “Maybe I could change.  You know, I could work harder; I could spend less time slaying.  I could laugh at his jokes!”

 

But when Buffy hears her own words echoed by poor little April (APRIL, to Warren:  “I can be whatever you want.  I love you.  I’ll do whatever you want!”), she recognizes the truth of the matter:  You can’t make someone love you by trying to twist yourself into a pleasing shape.  You may get your target’s attention at first, but even in the unlikely event that your beloved returns your love, it won’t be you that is the recipient of that love at all, will it?  It will be an artificially created illusion.  This message is emphasized with repeated scenes of people unsuccessfully trying to present a false picture of themselves, in order to better, or maintain, a relationship:

 

  • Tara makes an awkward stab at “spicy talk” in a misguided attempt to fit in with the Scoobies.
  • Spike lies to Giles and the Scoobies, misportraying himself in attempt to maintain his toehold with them (particularly with Dawn.)
  • In the same scene, Anya makes an uncharacteristic dig at Spike, and seems to be trying to be a part of the crowd by joining in the censure of Spike.
  • Xander and Willow both try to cover up their sexual interest in April, to pacify Anya and Tara’s jealousy.
  • Xander jokes that he should stop being so much like his Uncle Dave  - it may result in the Scoobies shunning him.

 

But it works both ways:  If you aren’t being you, (or in April’s case, if there is no independent you) then you can neither truly give, nor receive, love.  There’s a difference between what comes freely from the heart and what is given by a person who, for whatever reason, has no choice in the matter.  Even Warren, as much as he wants to, and as astoundingly insensitive as he is, can’t avoid noticing the difference:

 

BUFFY (about April):  “Are you saying – are you in love with her?”

WARREN:  “I really thought I would be?  I mean, she’s perfect.  I don’t know, I guess it was too easy.  And predictable.”

 

From the Baltimore Catechism:

 

Q:  Who made me?

A:  God made me.

 

Q:  Why did God make you?

A:  To know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in the next.

 

Warren made April so that he might be loved, and have someone to love.  But perhaps because he’s not an actual diety, he forgot something rather important:  Free Will.  Of what value is love compelled?  We’re reminded of our freedom to choose by the continual mention of choices and variety:  Joyce is choosing a dress; Anya talks about choosing which company to invest in; Spike talks about how he lives in a “free country” and he’s at a “free party.”  Xander sighs about Buffy’s choice of the day to hug him.  There’s more than one Warren, more than one “super strong little woman,” Dawn mentions there might be more than one “Ted,” and Katrina wonders just how many women there are in Warren’s life.

 

April the robot, and constant references to technical innovations (in contrast to more personal or hands-on methods), provide a metaphor for that which is forced and artificially constructed, as opposed to that which is freely chosen and  legitimately present, in our emotional lives.  It emphasizes the underlying theme about the essential role of honesty and genuine emotion when it comes to accepting and providing love:

 

  • Anya mentions online trading.
  • Tara asks Anya about how to use computers, as Anya talks about The Magic Box website.
  • Willow uses a computer to track down Warren.
  • We learn that Katrina builds model monorails with magnets.
  • Anya apparently believes the machine weave on a Chex cereal square is hand woven.

 

Interesting, huh, that the soon-to-be-jilted Anya isn’t very good at telling the difference between something that is artificially conceived, and something that was actually woven by hand.  But Xander sets her straight.

 

Anya isn’t alone in having trouble telling the difference between sincerity and deception.  People are charming each other all over the place:

 

  • Ben charms Buffy with his “coffee talk.”
  • Giles charms Xander by teasing him about research (XANDER:  “Funny.  Charming and funny.”)
  • Brian has obviously charmed Joyce (BUFFY, teasing Joyce:  “I don’t know.  I was standing right here.  I didn’t see any Prince Charming.”)
  • Joyce – she charms us all with her delight about her date, and the way she teases Buffy about leaving her bra in the car and desert cart.
  • We learn that Warren is staying with “his folks” over spring break, but when Spike visits Warren, he mentions that Warren’s mom invited him in.   Hmmm.  I wonder how the ominous looking Spike managed that?
  • Warren Beatty and Warren Harding are mentioned – both men are known for their good looks and way with women.

 

Charm –it’s just one of the many tools people use to get inside and tease something out of us - from a one-time invite to lasting love.  Xander’s comment about the Hellmouth’s negative atmosphere suggests the importance of the conditions of conception.  You’re charmed by someone whose genuine emotions are shining through?  You may find true love.  You’re charmed by a phony with an agenda?  You may be inviting a vampire into your home. 

 

Love is a real, hands-on type of risk.  It’s messy, with no fast or sure return.  If you’re looking for someone who will love you for yourself, and for no other reason than because they truly want to, then you have to give up the security which comes from going after the sure thing.  Like Anya with her on line investing, you have to be willing to take a risk.  Unlike Anya, you’re won’t find yourself making that easy, tech-based money.

 

ANYA (about letting Xander dance with Buffy):  “I’m expecting a big karmic reward any second now.”

 

In the real world, “karmic reward” doesn’t come “any second now.”  Rewards come slowly, if ever.  But we are all drawn to each other, to love, like parched nomads to an oasis.  Even if we have to walk through the dark streets of Hellmouth Central at 3:30 AM, or expose ourselves to fiery death with nothing but a ragged blanket protecting us, we persevere. This whole episode puts me in mind of 1 Corinthians 13 (The Holy Bible, New King James Version):

 

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels

But have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries

And all knowledge, and though I have all faith,

So that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor,

And though I give my body to be burned,

But have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind.

Love does not envy.

Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own,

Is not provoked, thinks no evil;

Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

Bears all things, believes all things,

Hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

 

Be it with sincerity or snake oil, with love or with animosity, we impact one another, we shape one another.  We let each other into our lives; we endeavor to be bendy enough to adjust to changes in ourselves and others (to the idea of Lutherans, even.)  For better or worse, we invite others in - because without love, life profits us nothing.  With Warren’s construction of April in background, the words “make” and “order” are used repeatedly, and we get many images of people allowing others to impact them.  A few examples are below:

 

  • Puffy Xander allows Buffy to pound on him.
  • Dawn and Buffy make Joyce spin.
  • Anya talks as if she controls Xander’s actions.
  • Giles tries to make Xander squirm.
  • Warren attempts to order around Katrina.
  • Buffy insists that Warren behave honestly with April.

 

Our vulnerabilities to each other, and the related universal need for love, are also noted in the parallels drawn between Spike and April, as Spike’s humiliation at the hands of Buffy and the Scoobies is juxtaposed against April’s similar experiences with an angry (sleepy!) man, the boys who make fun of her, and Warren.  Spike, a vampire with a well-earned reputation for cruelty and heartlessness, and April, a ruthlessly single-minded robot, both seem lonely and hurt by their respective rejections.  There is a poignancy to their scenes; even The Evil Dead Guy and The Soulless Machine need love.  And regardless of how justified their respective rejections may be, they seem negatively impacted by the lack of love they encounter:  April becomes more and more desperate and eventually tries to kill Buffy; Spike, in a desperate rage, turns to manufacturing.

 

If you want to truly love and be loved, you must be willing to see, and to be seen, clearly - warts and all.  Buffy can’t make herself into someone Ben will love, and Warren can’t make April into someone he will love.  Spike can’t make the Scoobies accept him by lying to them.  If you want love, it goes both ways: 

 

·           You can’t artificially turn yourself into the perfect mate for someone else, and you can’t force someone else into being the perfect mate for you. 

·           You can’t blind another to your faults, or blind yourself to theirs.

 

Either way, whether you are Warren trying to love an artificial creation, or April trying to love her non-existent perfect version of Warren (APRIL, to Warren:  “You can’t make mistakes!”), what you end up with is false.

 

Joyce has the first date jitters and the normal accompanying desire to put her best foot forward.  But Joyce is simply acknowledging a genuine attraction to Brian, and expressing a natural hope that initial giddy feelings are pointing to something real.  The relationship is new and fragile; she wants to give it a chance to flower.  But note that she is hoping to get to know Brian better:

 

JOYCE:  “Or maybe a movie isn’t a good idea at all, because, well, you know, you can’t talk during, and then, you know, what’s the point of any of it?”

 

In contrast to Buffy’s and April’s goal, Joyce’s goal is to find out if she and Brian are right for each other, not to persuade him, by whatever means necessary, that she’s the gal for him. 

 

The lesson about the need for a lucid, open-minded approach to life and love is seen in the images of how charm can obscure the truth, and in the clear-eyed way Buffy and the Scoobies quickly deduce April’s actual nature.  It is also delivered by a direct audience participation method.  Episode writer Jane E. mentions, in her DVD commentary, that the episode has many misleads - and it does:

 

  • We think Buffy is hitting a punching bag, but it’s Xander.
  • We think Buffy may be starting a romance with Ben, but she doesn’t.
  • We are surprised by the dramatic build-up to Warren’s undramatic revelation that April is a robot.
  • We think Spike is planning to toss or burn all of his Buffy pics and mementos, but he’s not.
  • We think that Joyce may be starting a promising new romance – but she’s not.

 

Uh - on that last one?  Talk about your misleads.  I thought this episode was about love.  But it turns out to be about death, about flowers cut down in their prime, about people slowing to stop as if they were nothing but used equipment.  Listen to Warren, as Buffy sits talking to him, on her last stop before going home to Mom:

 

WARREN:  “Her batteries were supposed to run down.  Really.  They should be completely dead by now.”

 

April’s Creator lets her batteries run down, by design.  And so does ours.  And so does Joyce’s.  And speaking of Joss, I’m speechless here.  I let him charm his way into my home, but now look - look at what he’s done to me.  I should have been paying closer attention.  Because in this episode, the problem is not just that I let myself be sidetracked over and over by misleading cues.  It’s also a matter of letting the surface signs distract me from noticing the actual revelations:

 

  • Despite Buffy’s declaration that Joyce has “acres of time” in which she could “plant crops,” Joyce doesn’t seem reassured.  She keeps asking what time it is, just as if she thinks she might be running out of time.  And she is.
  • Listen to what Ben says to Buffy here, about dancing:  “I’m not really good.”  Why no, Ben – you’re not really good. 
  • Listen to what Spike suggests to Buffy, about leaving the party:  “Why don’t you put your hands on my hot, tight little body - and make me?”  Oh!  Make you into what?
  • Look at how very, very, extra-pleased Buffy is with Spike’s defenestration at the hands of April.  She despises him so much that she just can’t seem to stop looking at, or thinking about, or talking about, Spike.  The ep has several mentions of priorities as indications of what matters and what’s important. And Spike is important to Buffy.
  • Spike says to Warren about the Buffybot:  “You’re gonna make her real good for me.”  One order for a good girl, coming up.

 

There’s some longer term foreshadowing in the episode as well.  The Warren-April-Katrina dynamics are meant to parallel Buffy’s relationships, but the lines being drawn crisscross to create quite a maze.  Bear with me as I try to navigate it, below:

 

  • Though the talk is about Warren, it’s hard not to think of Buffy and Spike during this scene:

 

ANYA:  “Why would anyone do that if they could have a real live person?”

WILLOW:  “Maybe he couldn’t. Find a real person.”

BUFFY:  “Oh, come on. The guy’s just a big wedge of sleaze, don’t make excuses for him.”

WILLOW:  I’m not, I’m just saying, people get lonely, and maybe having someone around, even someone you made up - maybe it’s easier.”

TARA:  But it’s so weird. I mean, everyone wants a nice normal person to share with, but this guy, if he couldn’t find that, I guess it’s kinda sad.”

 

This talk foreshadows the upcoming Buffybot incident.  It also speaks to Buffy and Riley’s relationship, as Buffy seems to be realizing that she treated Riley a bit like Warren treats April.  And it foreshadows Spike & Buffy’s Season 6 relationship, when Vampire and Vampire Slayer will try out the weirdest love of all. 

 

  • The scene between Warren and Buffy, as they discuss April, also puts us in mind of Buffy and Riley and Spike:

 

WARREN:  “I guess it was too easy.  And predictable.  You know, she got boring.  She was exactly what I wanted but I didn’t want her - then something happened.  Katrina was in my engineering seminar and she was really funny and cool.  You know – she was always giving me a hard time, real unpredictable.”

 

This also foreshadows the Buffybot for Spike, and reminds us of Buffy’s attitude toward Riley.  Also, here (and in their comparable jealous attitudes toward their loved one), a parallel is being drawn between Katrina and Spike, foreshadowing the Season 6 Spike & Buffy relationship.  Who do we know who is always giving Buffy a hard time, and is “real unpredictable?”

 

·        Buffy and Katrina are also being compared:

 

BUFFY (to Spike):   “Get away from me!”

KATRINA (to Warren):  “Get the hell away from me!”

 

Both women are dealing with men who have exhibited questionable morality and outright misogyny.  In Season 6, we’ll see Buffy/Katrina, and Buffy/Warren, AND Spike/Katrina, and Spike/Warren, parallels drawn again, in Dead Things.  In this ep, and in that one, it’s unclear:  Is Spike being compared to Warren, or is Buffy?  Is Spike being compared with Katrina, or is Buffy?  It’s both; it’s deliberately murky.    Because unlike Warren & Katrina, “mutual” is the catch-word, for Buffy & Spike.

 

  • Warren’s goodbye speech to April is very much like Buffy’s Season 6 goodbye to Spike:

 

WARREN:  “I’m sorry, but it’s over.”

APRIL:  But - I can be whatever you want. I love you.  I’ll do whatever you want. Would you like a neck rub?”

WARREN:  No, hey, no. See, I know that you love me, but the truth is, I can’t love you.  I mean, it’s not your fault, but - I don’t love you.”

 

Some of the wording here is nearly exact, and it foreshadows the way Buffy will use Spike in Season 6.  But there’s a notable and deliberate difference in the wording - Buffy tells Spike she can’t love him, but she never adds, “I don’t love you.”  And the statements aren’t the same, they’re the difference between a diabetic saying “I can’t eat cake,” and saying “I don’t eat cake.”  But then, Buffy & Spike aren’t really Warren & April – again, it’s all much murkier and mutual, and they’re not going to end up the same way.

 

  • As she talks about Warren as her one and only, as she forcefully tells Spike, “You are not boyfriend,” and as she seems to hold herself completely responsible for what goes wrong, April’s attitude toward Warren sounds very much like Buffy’s, toward Angel.

 

APRIL: “It’s getting dark.  It’s so early to be dark.  What if he comes back, and he can’t find me in the dark?”

BUFFY:  “I’m here.  I’ll make sure he finds you.”

APRIL:  “Maybe this is a girlfriend test.  If I wait here patiently this time, he’ll come back.”

BUFFY:  “I’m sure he will.  And he’ll tell you how sorry he is.  You know, he told me how proud he was of you, and how impressed he was with how much you loved him and how you tried to help him.  He didn’t mean to hurt you.”

 

April is afraid; she worries that Love won’t be able to find her, in the darkness.  In terms of truly facing and accepting her Slayerhood, i.e. her own darkness, Buffy is scared of the very same thing:  loosing her illusions, loosing her Angel, loosing what she sees as her one and only true love.  But don’t worry, Buffy.  Spike can hear the tiniest of sighs, issuing from the darkest of coal bins.  And love?  Love never fails.

 

Spicy Extras for James Marsters fans:

 

  • I had noticed the use of the word “make” over and over in this episode, but it took me awhile to notice the word when Spike says:  “Why don’t you put your hands on my hot tight, little body - and make me?”  Unlike my DVD player, my brain kept automatically going on pause right after “my hot, tight little body.” 
  • Spike does look extra cute in that party scene.  During that scene, writer Jane E. - proving incontrovertibly that she’s female, heterosexual, and sighted - mentions in her DVD commentary that James is “extremely charismatic” on screen.  
  • “It’s a free country,” says Spike.  Hmmm.  As Buffy once asked Spike in Season 2:  “You do remember you’re a vampire, right?”  But he doesn’t always seem to remember.  All throughout the series, we get little comments like this from him – comments that seem to suggest that, subconsciously, a part of Spike thinks of himself as simply one of the crowd – human, American even, with the right of assembly, like any other citizen.
  • Spike & Giles in The Magic Box:  Wonderfully done scene when Giles shoves Spike backward and tells him to move on.  Giles is as close as he’ll ever come to simply killing Spike with his own hands.  And Spike’s underlying frustration at being forced to back down (for the second time that day) shows perfectly in his face.  Tony Head and James – I always love their scenes together.  They can do the funny and they can do the deadly serious and they can do the everyday.  Great stuff.
  • Interesting note:  Buffy’s straw-man, the Spike-dummy she can “hit that can’t hit back,” is in the background as she decides to call Ben and cancel their date.  It was also in the background when she and Riley had their final “I’m leaving tonight” confrontation at that same location.
  • Despite that chip in his head, and having to shut up and back down with both Buffy and Giles, Spike just keeps moving on.  Moving forward with his obsession that is, which is not exactly what Giles had in mind.  Spike hasn’t forgotten how to intimidate humans and he’s got the stones to keep doing it, even though it’s now all bluster.  In the episode’s final example of one person coercing another into doing his will, Spike simply scares Warren into agreeing to make the Buffybot.

 

***

Discuss this analysis:  http://scubiefan.proboards18.com/index.cgi?board=analyses

 

Return to the Spikecentricity listing:  http://www.soulfulspike.com/reviews.htm

 

Return to the Soulful Spike Society homepage: http://www.soulfulspike.com/indexholder.htm

 

Join the S’cubie General Gabbery:  http://scubiefan.proboards18.com/index.cgi