Season 2

Episode 21

BECOMING PART 1: Watch & learn

- Components – Watching – Learning – Becoming – God in his heaven – Conclusion - Spicy extras for James Marsters fans -

The first shot in this episode is of bricks, many dark, yellowish brown bricks that, as the camera moves up and away, stretch before a man on horseback. The bricks have been laid side-by-side to form a street. It is no coincidence that Becoming Part 1 – an episode about the moments that make up our lives - begins with an image of a lone traveler, journeying slowly across the essential components of a long road.

The episode itself is very consciously made up of those that came before it – there are many small references to earlier episodes (e.g., Darla’s dress reminds us of Halloween, Xander and his fish-stick puppets remind us of Go Fish, the claddagh ring reminds us of Surprise). And when Oz, after watching Xander’s fishy puppet show, says: "Uh, I was a little unclear on some of the themes," I feel as if he has leapt off the screen and is talking to me specifically. This episode touches almost all the themes we’ve seen this season, and it is no easy task for Spring Summers, the S’cubie gang’s self-appointed Buffy-analyst, to find clarity.

But it isn’t just me, out here in the real world, who is addressed directly from the screen:

• We begin with an invitation to all viewers, from Whistler, to watch the program: "There’s moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you’re gonna be. Sometimes they’re little, subtle moments. Sometimes . . . they’re not. I’ll show you what I mean."
• We get about halfway through the episode when Xander speaks to us almost as directly, after Buffy mentions restoring Angel’s soul: "Hi! For those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person. So this spell might restore Angel’s humanity. Well, here’s an interesting angle . . . who cares?"
• The episode ends with Whistler again addressing the viewer, inviting us to stay tuned: "The big moments are gonna come . . . that’s when you find out who you are. You’ll see what I mean."

Watching. We are reminded that we’re watching a program. And what do we see? Angel watching Buffy, an archeologist watching his assistants work, and the Scoobies watching Xander’s fish-stick puppet show. We see Snyder watching the Scoobies, Spike and Dru formally witnessing Angel’s attempt to free Acathla, Whistler watching Angel, and Angel watching Buffy again. Lots of watching, no?

There are many, many references to "seeing" – too many to list. The first occurs here:

Liam: "Always wanted to see the world, but . . ."

Darla: "I could show you . . . things you’ve never seen, never heard of."

Liam (a few lines later): "I’m not afraid. Show me. Show me your world."

Darla: "Close your eyes."

Yikes, Liam. To see her world, you have to close your eyes? Ahh, Liam. You’re such a sucker for a pretty face - then and now.

There are many references to the ways in which we sense and absorb the world around us – hearing (the whispers from Acathla’s tomb), touching (Oz and Xander with Willow and Cordelia in the cafeteria), smelling and tasting (Whistler wrinkling his nose at Angel’s odor, and later, eating his hot dog).

"Let me in!" says Xander to Cordelia as he teases her in the lunchroom. "I assume you haven’t tried to open it?" says Giles to Doug Perrin, the archeologist, as they examine the still sealed tomb of Acathla. And what will we learn about Acathla? That when he is awakened, he will literally absorb the world around him, and suck it into the hell he represents.

And what else do we see and hear in this episode? People learning. There are many references to teachers and lessons. Some examples:

• Darla promises to show Angel the world.
• Willow tutors Buffy in Chemistry.
• Angel gives Spike a "history lesson" by telling him about Acathla.
• Buffy’s first watcher begins instructing her.
• Angel tells Whistler: "I wanna learn from you."

The fact that what we see and hear is translated into knowledge is emphasized by many allusions to text and reading. Note that Giles wants to translate the script on Acathla’s tomb, hoping to avoid being surprised when they open it. Buffy tells a vampire to give Angel a message, adding: "Need me to write it down for you?" As we watch Spike read the news, we learn that Dru has gained her knowledge of the tomb from the morning paper. Buffy & Willow learn how to restore Angel’s soul by reading Jenny’s translated text. They don’t just watch. They learn, they internalize. They experience. They become.

And what do they become? In a method very reminiscent of What’s My Line Part 1, the issue of identity is introduced through a series of . . . well, introductions:

• Giles and Doug Perrin - Giles is "the best authority on obscure relics," something he has become through learning and experience.
• Whistler to Angel: "My name’s Whistler . . . a demon . . . I’m not a bad guy."
• The Watcher to Buffy: "Buffy Summers? . . . your destiny awaits."

And again, as we saw in What’s My Line Part 1, there are many labels applied: Liam’s father is "a pig." Buffy is "Learn Girl" and "The Chosen One." Xander is "Perspective Guy." Angel is "Crazy Homeless Guy" and "The Stink Guy." Kendra’s stake is "Mr Pointy." There are more.

What does it all mean? We see Angel before and after, Buffy before and after, and most disturbingly – Dru, before and after. How terribly sad it is to listen to an innocent Drusilla sob to Angel in the confessional: "I don’t want to be an evil thing!"

But neither did Buffy want to have "a destiny", and Angel, who only wanted to see the world, spends 90 years in isolation. And when Willow suggests that she do the spell to re-ensoul Angel, Giles tells her that "channeling such potent magicks through yourself . . . it could open a door you may not be able to close." That seems to be the last thing Willow wants: "Big ‘no’ to danger," she says. Sorry about your luck there, Will.

The message seems to be that we have little control over our fates – at best, we are feathers in the random winds of chance. But in this same episode, we also see that sometimes, we do get exactly what we order. Both Angel and Dru sound a little like Whistler ordering his hot dog when they say:

Angel (about stealing Acathla’s tomb): "I’ll have one of these to go."

Dru (about kidnapping Giles): "Let’s get what we came for, dears."

The world, it seems, is a confusing place, where we both act and are acted upon. What about God, then? Does the Lord, as Angel tells the human Dru, have "a plan for all creatures?"

Principal Snyder seems like the very definition of the term "little tin god" when he approaches Buffy & the Scoobies in the cafeteria. He seems offended by their laughter, affection, and happiness; he attempts to control his world, his children, through stern words and narrow moralistic rules. He even threatens to throw Buffy out of the kingdom ("Just give me a reason to kick you out, Summers. Just give me a reason"). Cordelia calls the petty, spiteful Snyder a "tiny, impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu."

In the very next scene, Angel is telling Dru that the Lord has a plan for her, that she’s a Devil child and "the Lord will use you and smite you down. He’s like that." Yowzers. What are you telling me, Joss? That Yahweh is a tiny, impotent . . . wait let me stop right there, before I offend more people than I can count, in more ways than I can count.

Let’s listen instead to Angel’s final words to Dru: "God is watching you." So maybe the jury’s still out on God, then – though the best we seem to be able to say about Him is that He is simply watching. There is no intervening God, only the actions of human beings stumbling through their lives, acting and reacting in the pursuit of happiness.

We are born. We watch, we learn, we prepare, we enter the field of play, and we’re tested. Sometimes the tests are planned and announced, like Buffy’s finals. We can study and prepare with sharpened pencils and a good night’s sleep. But sometimes life gives us a pop-quiz - super-sized, whether we ordered it or not. It ambushes us like Kendra testing Buffy’s reflexes by jumping out at her unexpectedly. This episode features several surprises, and talk of surprises. As Dru tells Angel in the confessional: "Me mum says I’m cursed. My seeing things is an affront to The Lord, that only He’s supposed to see anything before it happens." The rest of us, it seems, must remain spoiler-free.

So we take our chances and we take our lumps. We live. And we become. We become winners or losers, shakers or watchers, stars or sidekicks, champions or also-rans - or any and all combinations thereof. We experience the world and we are shaped by it, by the utter unpredictability of a world where God believes in a free-market, even as we mold it with our own hands.

We each live in our own worlds, translating the evidence of our senses in our own ways – as is made crystal clear by Xander’s (Perspective Guy’s) angry outburst at Buffy: "You can paint this any way you want. But the way I see it is that you wanna forget all about Ms. Calendar so you can get your boyfriend back." Both Xander and Buffy have witnessed the same events. But in Xander’s world, Angel is a dangerous killer who must be destroyed. In Buffy’s world, he is an innocent victim who must be saved. The Scoobies, Giles, Kendra – and the viewers – agree with one or the other, or perhaps, like Cordelia, can see it both ways. But to each, his own.

With one breath, Giles tells us, Acathla will create a vortex, and will pull everything on Earth into a hell dimension. Whether the world, as it exists inside each of us, is a hell or a heaven, for ourselves and for those we sometimes suck into it, depends on who we are. Let’s listen to a more complete version of Whistler’s closing statement:

"Bottom line is, even if you see ‘em coming, you’re not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you are."

• Compare the scene of Liam being vamped by Darla to that of William being vamped by Dru. It starts out almost the same way – except the roles are strangely reversed at first, with Liam sounding much more like Dru than he does like William.
• James is just so funny in this one – I love the way he deadpans: "It’s a big rock. I can’t wait to tell my friends. They don’t have a rock this big." And later, gotta love the way he snickers behind Angel’s back when all of Angel’s big, self-aggrandizing plans completely fall apart.
• Spike mocks Angel’s, Dru’s and Acathla’s evil in this episode, much as Angel mocks Dru’s goodness in the confessional. We see the first tiny glimmer here - a hint that grows into full-fledged foreshadowing in Part 2 – of what Spike will one day become.