by Rob Sorenson

Spike re-entered the suite, still slightly dazed. Buffy would someday be the death of him. <But what a way to go,> he thought with a grin.

He'd passed Willow, Andrew, and Clem on the way back; it seemed they wanted a bite to eat as well. He idly wondered if anyone would think of going to the nearest butcher shop to pick him up something. Room service tended to have it's limitations. He'd yet to see a menu with pig's blood as an entree within primarily human establishments like this one.

Spike looked around the room briefly and spotted Dawn, in sweats and a T-shirt. Clearly she was preparing for bed. There was no immediate sign of Faith, so he assumed she was on the balcony. <This should be fun,> he thought ruefully as he sauntered outside.

Faith was facing out, looking to the north, smoking a cigarette.

"I thought you quit those."

She nodded. "Me too. Stress, I guess."

"There are other ways to relieve stress."

"Didn't we cover this in the alley?"

"I wasn't volunteering. In fact, I didn't even mean that. I meant exercise of a different kind. Working out, sparring, things like that."

"Considering that you're not technically alive, you can smoke all you want. Yet you stopped." She looked at him questioningly.

He shrugged. "Buffy. How about you?"

"Xander. Friggin Scooby Gang's got world in peril baggage out the ass and they get all judgy about a cig."

"Can't argue with you there."

"So you wanna bum one?"

"No thanks. It was too hard to quit. Not sure I can trust myself if I slip."

"Easier said than done."

"Are we still talking about cigarettes?"

She mimicked his earlier shrug. "Maybe."

"Five of us are going out tomorrow night."

"Smooth segue, there, Blondie Bear."

"I already asked you not to call me that. Don't make me have to hurt you."

They shared a brief smile, but neither saw it as her back remained to him.

"Anyway, you were saying five of us are going out. Willow's gonna need Dawn to help her with the magic stuff, right?"

He nodded in agreement. "Right. Leaving the three of us. The way I see it, Buffy will have an advantage since she was in Macy's tonight already. She knows her way around a little. We figured I'd back you up."

Faith said nothing for a moment, slowly extinguishing her smoke and flipping the butt over the side, watching it start it's fluttering journey 43 stories down to the pavement on 54th Street.

"Who's we?"

"Say again?"

"I said, who's we, Spike? You and Buffy work out that little bullshit cover story all by yourselves?"

He sighed. It had been too much to ask for Faith to take this in a mature fashion. "No, actually it was all mine."

"I'll be fine."

"You probably will. Still, we'd feel better if--"

"You keep saying we. Since when was I not included in the we? You and Buffy just decide things for me now?"

"I didn't say that. You're taking this all wrong. Buffy and I are worried about you."

"Worry about yourselves."

"That's the old Faith talking."

"The old Faith would have thrown you off this balcony for real if you called her weak."

"Hold on. Who said anything about you being weak?"

"Hey, Dawnie's inside. Let's go see if she thinks I'm weak, too."

"Faith-"

She strode past him and into the suite, now lit only by the television.

"Hey, Dawn. Do you think I can't fight?"

The Key looked up at Faith, and slid her eyes over to Spike standing in the doorway to the balcony.

"Where is this coming from?"

Faith feigned surprise. "Oh, so you're not in the special club that decided I need a babysitter? What a surprise."

Spike sighed heavily. "Faith, I have to go somewhere tomorrow, one way or the other."

She spun on him. "Yeah, you do. You need to go somewhere right now, too, before I show Dawnie here how I can kick your little ass."

Dawn stood. "What is wrong with you?"

Faith laughed out loud. "Well, that's been the question for a long time, kid. It'd take us too long to answer that one. How about we table that issue till I'm done wiping the floor with him."

Spike had taken all he was going to. "You think it's that easy, girl? You wanna have a go? Come on, then."

They took a step toward one another.

Dawn moved in between them. "Stop this! This is stupid. We have to work together."

"Get out of the way, Dawn. Spike needs to learn a lesson, and I'm in the mood to teach him the hard way."

A new voice came softly from behind them. "I don't think you want to do that."

Faith turned and saw her sister Slayer standing just inside the front door. They hadn't even heard her come in.

"Queen B. Just in the nick of time. Your boy toy was about to take a flying leap off the side."

Buffy's hands were hanging loosely at her sides; her face held a sad

expression. "Faith, you've never had to go through this before. We've all had to save each other, like, a thousand times. We know how to deal. You don't. Spike is going to back you up."

"You're giving orders again, huh?"

"Yes."

"This is all about you being better than me, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

Faith was momentarily taken aback by the brutal honesty she normally dishes out rather than receives as Buffy continued.

"Faith, we're all hurting. We all love Xander and we're terrified for him. I have to think about the best way to stop this threat, AND save Xander. It's about more than just him. There are forces at work here that could affect the world. Xander is a means to an end to them. It's us Travers wants."

Faith lost it.

"Did you not see what I saw? Did you miss Xander in chains, with bruises all over himself and blood pouring out of his mouth?! I thought he made you feel things. Dammit, that was my XANDER on that screen. He's in pain, and it's because of us. Do you not care about anyone or anything at all but this damned job?"

Buffy took a deep breath. "Faith, you're not being rational. There are important issues here. Xander is just one of them. That doesn't mean I don't care. I felt his pain more than you can ever understand, but I have to think about the big picture too. We will win this battle and save Xander. One leads to the other. You have to understand that."

"All I understand is Xander could be dying and you have to go on another one of your famous power trips. These people will do whatever you say all the time no matter what, and you love it."

Willow and crew had walked in and were now to be caught in the crossfire. Faith looked at everyone.

"I've seen how you've been acting. Making your little jokes and getting yourselves some dinner. Right after you watched someone you supposedly love being tortured on live television. None of you really care about him either, do you?"

The entire room was shocked as Dawn took two quick steps and slapped Faith hard across her face.

Silence reigned as the brunette Slayer stared at her, hand on her reddened cheek.

"Who the Hell are you to tell us about how we're supposed to act? How we deal with stuff that happens to us all the time? Do you know what your problem is, Faith? The only person you've ever had to worry about is yourself...until now.

"Everybody here knows what you've been through. I know about the Hell of your life growing up. How alone you were. You want to know what's just as bad? Having people you love suffer and die, sometimes for no good reason."

"Buffy found Mom dead on the couch. All the heartache we went through, the surgery, the rehab, all of it....meant nothing. She was gone anyway."

"Most of us were there when my sister committed suicide in my place to save the world.

"Buffy had to send a man she loved to Hell."

"Willow had to watch Tara get shot. I had to find her dead in their bedroom...by myself.

"Spike has more pain to live with every day than all of us put together because he had the courage to face his demons and take control of them."

"So we probably come off a little jaded to you. You know what? If we didn't, we'd either be insane or dead. We deal with pain however we can, because it's the nature of this family. We don't judge each other any more. You haven't learned that one yet, but you better do it soon."

"Did it ever occur to you that Buffy was risking her life to save yours? Spike doesn't want to fight with you. He's doing it because it's what she wants. You have the nerve to tell her that she doesn't care about anything but her ego. If she was doing that she'd put herself first because she's stronger than you, and she always will be."

No one had anything to say for a full 30 seconds as Faith and Dawn stared each other down. Buffy was inching her way toward them in case someone decided to take a swing. Finally Faith spoke, ever so softly.

"He's all I've ever had. I thought I'd lost him; then he's found again. Now he's hurt, and I can't comfort him; I want to be with him so bad. I'm so fucking scared I can't see straight and I hate feeling that way it. I can't bear the thought of losing him again."

Buffy was there now. "You won't. WE won't. Spike goes with you tomorrow night. After you guys take out whoever they put against you he can come help me out if I need it. I want your fight to be the shortest so you can get to Xander first. Ok?"

Faith just nodded, too full to speak. Buffy wordlessly held out her arms, and Faith slowly moved into them, sobbing into her shoulder.

******************************************************************

Dawn had retreated to the silence of the balcony when Buffy and Spike came out to join her.

"I'm not sure I'm good company right now, guys."

"Too bad, nibblet. Andrew and Clem are fighting over which side of the bed to sleep on, and I'm on the verge of ripping their faces off. Of course in Clem's case, that'd be a a lot of work, what with all that excess skin--"

He got his wish when Dawn cracked a smile. Buffy spoke up.

"So when did you get all profound?"

"Self-help books, mostly."

"We have those in our home?"

"Oh, yeah, totally. Spike keeps one under your bed called Chicken Soup For the Recently Ensouled."

He flipped her off and went inside as the sisters giggled.

"Is Faith ok?"

Buffy nodded. "She's dealing. I think she had to get it out and just talk to someone. We're finally learning that lesson about each other, I guess."

"Took what, seven years or so?"

"Nobody said we were fast learners."

"Speak for yourself. I've only been here for three of them if you don't count fake memories."

"I'm trusting you to be there for Willow."

Dawn wasn't surprised about the abrupt subject change. It was their way.

"I don't know what I can really do except help her set up some spells."

"I'll say the same thing to you I said to William. I don't doubt her power. I worry about her control. That could come down to your being there."

"You don't have to worry about me."

"Considering the way you just handled Faith I'm not going to. What you just did in there was special. No, let me use a better word. It was extraordinary."

Dawn stared at her. "Xander said--"

"I know."

"How?"

"Kennedy had left her Kendo stick on the kitchen table again, so I ran up to grab it when I heard my name mentioned. I heard the whole thing."

"You were eavesdropping?"

"Yup."

"That doesn't bother you at all?"

"It's my house."

"It's my house too--forget it. It was a long time ago."

"Not so long. I never told Xander I heard the things he said to you. Next time I see him..." she trailed off and turned away.

"We'll see him tomorrow night."

Buffy smiled at her. "Whatever happens tomorrow, Dawn, I want you to know that I'm proud of the woman you've become. Somewhere out there Mom is, too."

They held each other for a long time.

******************************************************************

Spike was negotiating his way through the darkened living room to the bedroom he and Buffy were sharing when he heard Faith's voice, speaking quietly to avoid disturbing the sleeping members of the family.

"Look, Spike. I just wanted--"

"Stop."

"But--"

"It's not even worth mentioning. It's over. Get some sleep, luv." He smiled gently and managed to get a weak grin from her in return.

He went into the bedroom and undressed quickly, slipping under the covers. He waited for Buffy to come to him, knowing that she's been holding back her emotions to appear strong for the others. He was deeply thankful for the trust she showed by occasionally crying herself to sleep in his arms.

Tonight would be especially difficult, for he knew how scared she really was for the man who, along with Willow, was her closest friend. A man with which she had a bond that Spike was just starting to understand.

Tomorrow would be time to put it aside and focus as she always did. The strength of this woman, inside and out, never ceased to amaze him. He heard her slip in silently, listening to the whispering of her clothes sliding off her soft skin.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. I got you some cow's blood from the butcher shop a few blocks down. It's in the minifridge if you want it."

"I'm ok for now. Thanks, though."

"I love you."

"Love you too, pet."

As expected, she slid into his arms and wept.

- End Chapter Fifteen -