There was a breeze flowing swiftly through the cavern that held the 6 warriors who'd been spared. The chill would've been a surprise under normal circumstances in the southern California spring, but the sun hadn't risen for three consecutive days. Darkness had fallen over Sunnydale, in every form imaginable. Buffy Summers had done more than anyone else alive to keep the sun rising and falling at regular intervals for the past seven years. She'd given her life twice, sacrificed meaningful relationships, and was often beaten to a bloody pulp, where nothing else existed in her soul but the horrifying focus that only great physical pain could provide. Upon her 2nd death she'd finally reached a modicum of solitude within her tortured spirit.

In reality she remembered little detail of the afterlife for the righteous. When Willow wrenched her from that much deserved rest the Powers That Be had apparently struck a deal with someone (or something) so that she would be unable to share details of the experience. Some things weren't supposed to be known to this world, and the PTB may not control everything, but they darn well controlled THAT, and Osiris acquiesced to their demand to expedite Willow's wishes. Even a being of Osiris' power knew full well that Ms. Rosenberg was not one to be trifled with when aroused. He'd been around a while for a reason.

Now it seems Willow's recklessness had resulted in disaster for the world as it was currently known, and Buffy admitted within herself some residual anger for the mighty Wiccan. <At the very least we've lost Giles, Anya and 20 special girls who'd committed everything they could to a cause they had no business fighting for. They just weren't ready.>

She was snapped from her reverie by a bleating sound in the middle of the sizable natural arena created within these rocky walls. "Will, since there's no progress getting us loose from these wrist barriers, do you think you can conjure up a goat muting spell? That thing is starting to annoy me."

The redhead threw Buffy a forced grin, feeling bad enough right now without the Slayer's snappishness. <Why didn't I even consider it? How stupid could I have been not to give every possible avenue some thought?> Her only comfort--and it was a darn hollow one--was her conviction that knowing every aspect of the First's plan down to the last detail would've been no help. The First simply couldn't be stopped, and it had come up with a plan to make their deaths as painful as possible on every level. <The best it could've done was kill us quickly, but that just wouldn't do....not when torture is an option.>

"Does anyone have a thought as to what happens now?" Angel spoke up in response. "Buffy's reference of the joining between Man and Animal is familiar. There are many texts from different Demonic religions that mention a bonding between two relatively harmless beings. Somehow by doing so they create an unstoppable single entity. Something...new. Based on that I'd guess we'll be seeing a human male here fairly soon to go with that goat." That brought silence to the group for another moment.

Faith looked to her former enemies with a barely concealed contempt. "I guess this'd be a bad time for me to ask, but on the other hand we're all about to die here, so...what the Hell were you guys thinking when you ripped Xander a new one like that?" Both Slayer and Wiccan looked as if they'd been slapped by the former Dark Slayer's question.

Willow couldn't let that pass. "Faith, the last time I checked you tried to kill Xander in your bed at the little Palace of Hourly Rates when he was trying to help you. At what point am I supposed to give a rat's ass what you think?"

"Ok, Red, if you wanna bring that up, I got no problem. You've actively hated me more than anyone else in Scoobyville. Now I can deal with Buffy's issues with me; I did my time and I got issues of my own to work through over that stuff, and I'm doing the best I can to make up for it. I never understood your big problem with me until my second month in Solitary back in the joint when thinking is all that keeps you from trying to slay yourself. You got one reason to hate me Red, and one reason only. I got Xander's cherry and you didn't. Out of all the things I did, all the people I killed or choked or poisoned with arrows, that's something that you have no right to blame me for. He wanted it and so did I. You were with Oz at the time. In other words, get over it. If I owe anyone an apology for that night it's Xander, because I made his first time something cheap, and he was too nice a guy for that. Now, back to my question: you tore into him earlier and I let it go, 'cause I haven't been around a while and thought maybe you guys had other issues. So spill it girls: what exactly did Xander do to you?"

Willow was visibly shaking from Faith's rebuke, whether it was from anger or sorrow Buffy couldn't distinguish. She looked down at the damp floor at her feet. "Faith, we honestly thought we were doing the right thing for Xander. I didn't expect Will to take it that far"--she snuck a glance at her close friend as she said this--"but I felt it was the right thing to do."

"Well, B, I'm not the rocket scientist in the group or anything, but if the First wants us to watch a human get tortured, my money's on Xander. I hope you can live with the things you said to him, because I'm getting the feeling those were your last."

Tears fell from Willow's eyes as she spoke. "I don't know what happened to me. I was just going to try to convince him as gently as I could, but I was so scared. We were going to die. I SAW us dying, and God help me, Xander is who I vent on when things are bad. Whatever control there was in my magick, it snapped completely for a minute because he's Xander, and I don't have to be something I'm not with him. The pressure got to me and I just exploded."

Cordy spoke up. "Willow, the Xander I knew would understand eventually. Nothing you say or do to him could be bad enough to shake his faith in you and Princess Buffy." She was surprised that she still held bitterness over high school romance considering how much she and the world around her had changed. She cut herself some slack for that. She'd been deeply involved with two people who adored Buffy before she'd entered the romantic picture, and somehow the little blonde managed to stay somewhere in the frame, no matter how things developed.

"Anyone hear a noise?" Spike's head was cocked toward the entrance of their prison. "I'm pickin' up bad vibrations. 6 or 7 sets of footsteps, and they're gettin' closer. Willow, get us the Hell out of these things!"

"I'm sorry Spike. I'm completely drained, and probably will remain that way all night."

Buffy leaned toward her friend. "S'okay, Will. You did all you could. Now we wait and hope."

"Hope, B? Hope for what?"

"Personally, I choose to hope for a quick death. That's about all I have in me to wish for at this point."

Xander's smile had faded to a smirk. As he was marched through the dark Sunnydale night by 6 Turok-Hans <funny, I didn't how what they were actually called until now. I'm getting brighter> he couldn't help feeling anxious about what was to come. Dawn had been left behind as insurance for Xander's agreement to the plan, though the First had no doubt. This human was it's Chosen One, and had been easily manipulated for that reason. It all felt preordained from the moment it watched the dark haired boy breathe life back into the Slayer all those years ago.

The First was momentarily enraged by this unexpected development, as the Master was to be his second in command. As the being considered alternatives it became crystal clear: A human (a rather pathetic one at that) had created a break in the Slayer lineage, thereby weakening the balance between good and evil in favor of the First. 5 human years had been spent planning this climax to the millenia of struggle between Light and Dark forces. A hiccup, really, in the grand scheme of things.

Glory's attempt to return to her world had provided a wonderful diversion for the First, making the plan even easier to execute. Buffy's magical resurrection was given far more attention and respect than the comparatively simple human one, and it was precisely what Evil needed to fool the Scoobies.

It was just a matter of a few Earth minutes now until Evil would be made immortal flesh, and the Powers That Be would be no more. As he entered the cave, Xander felt completely at peace with himself. His place in the world was now finally understood, and it would be witnessed by those who deserved to witness it most. He took a deep breath and made his way into the cavern, followed by the half dozen Turok-Han and the First, currently manifesting itself as Giles.

There they were, the 6 people who had made the most significant impact on his life, with the exception of Anya. They all stared in shock. Xander was dressed in a flowing black robe, decorated with Latin script that the 2 vampires and the Wiccan recognized as holy writ for the demonic hordes who did their deeds in the name of their opponent in this seemingly final battle.

After 5 full minutes of silence, the First spoke. "In case you haven't figured it out yet, I brought you all here to witness the fruits of your labors. Whether or not you realized it, you've guided my human well. He is now fully ready to take his rightful place in this world. I've given him the opportunity to say some last words to you prior to the performance of the ritual... a chance to purge himself of his humanity, so to speak. Xander, the floor is yours."

For a moment, no words cam from his mouth as he seemed to be searching for a place to start. Finally, he broke out with a big smile. "I guess I should make you guys as comfortable as I can before the big moment arrives. Let me see, what would be appropriate. Oh, I know. Who wants me to make a donut run?" The smile slowly evaporated. "No one's hungry for some pastry goodness? Come on, guys, you know it's all I do well. Please validate my existence and ask me to schlep out and get you guys some baked goods. Raise your hands if you want bavarian creme. Oh wait....your hands are stuck up there already. So sorry."

Buffy found her voice to speak. "Xand…"

"Whoa there, Buffster. This is the Xandman's time. I don't think I want to hear from you right now." He raised his hand, and immediately all ability to speak had left the 6 prisoner's throats.

"That's better. Makes me feel like a real Gentleman. Now, where was I? Oh yes, donuts. I've decided I'm past the donut stage. Right now I'm at the stage of getting a few things off my chest. A few of you don't have to worry too much. I'll be brief." He stepped toward Cordelia. "I've had a few years to reflect on the train wreck that some comedians might refer to as our relationship. It never ceases to amaze me how much of your abuse I was willing to take. Sure, I made a mistake here and there, but you didn't even want to walk the halls with me when things were good between us. You were ashamed to consider me attractive because I wasn't cool enough for you. I was prepared to accept my role as the Chase lapdog. Hell, I figured anything would be better than nothing. I poured my heart out to you on Valentine's Day and you stomped on it. Funny how you were able to take the pompous high road when I made a mistake with Willow. Could it be that you never considered me worthy of you at all? Hmm. Gotta say yes."

He moved on to Faith. "Seven minutes. Among the most important seven minutes of my life were spent with you. A few days later, you choked me to within an inch of my life in the same bed. We did have a connection, Faith. More than you realize. Instead of listening to me, you spent the majority of time after that comatose and/or wearing prison stripes. Looks like your redemption ends here. Maybe instead of treating me like dirt you should've realized that no one understood you better than me. Little late now."

"Angel. How did I hate thee? Let me count the ways. No, instead let me illustrate with a little story. You claim that you remember nothing from your little 6 month excursion as Angelus back in the day. I never believed that, but that's neither here nor there...Buffy was in the hospital with the flu, and you came to kill her while she was weak and helpless. Big tough Vamp that you were. I stopped you. Do you remember what you said? You told me that it must just eat away at me that you got there first. Do you remember my answer? I said you were going to die, and I was going to be there."

Buffy was staring at him. She'd had no clue this conversation had taken place. "Willow had found the key to restoring your soul. I guess you know that now. What you don't know is I'd have been on board the restored soul train with everyone else, albeit grudgingly, if you hadn't said those words to me in that hospital. Therefore you died....and I was there. Right outside. After carrying a suffering man that I cared deeply for out of your mansion. You'd nearly tortured him to death. Incidentally Buff, the damn sword was pulled out early. Nothing I said to you could've stopped what happened. Just thought you'd want to know. So it appears we've come full circle tonight Angel. Yet again you're going to die.....and I'm gonna be there. Some things are so nice I get to do them twice." He moved on to Spike.

"You know, outside of you messing around with Anya and tormenting me for years by pounding it into my head that I was a useless piece of garbage, I don't have many issues with you, Spike. Well, there is one thing. The glorified bricklayer is about to have his moment. Enjoy."

For a few moments, he said nothing as he stepped up to Willow. He stared for a long time. Finally he shook his head. "You already know, Wills. You already know." There was nothing else that needed to be said.

Finally, he moved to Buffy. "However, there's a lot you don't know. As much as you purported to be my friend, you never seemed to show the slightest interest in knowing anything about me. Now you get to hear it." He took a deep breath. "Any meaning in my life started for me when I looked in your eyes for the first time. I loved you from the first moment I saw you. It never mattered to me what you did, all that mattered was the feeling I had when you smiled at me. It took everything I had to get the courage to ask you out. To this day it's the most frightened I've ever been. Not for the first time, you broke my heart. I then proceeded to drag your lover's ass with me into the Master's lair and saved your life the very next day, though I think you've always given the credit to Angel for that. You decided, not for the first time, that a dead man meant more to you than me."

He looked to the ground, tears that he refused to shed finally forming in his eyes. "I tried to accept the fact that you needed my friendship, because you were so alone in the world. Like me. My parents hated me, Buffy, and that's not an exaggeration. Everything wrong in their lives, their marriage, the drinking-I was the personification of their failures. My dad started using me as a punching bag when I was nine years old. So much of my scars and bruises in the early years weren't created by your kind of demons at all. I just let you think so because you didn't need to be burdened by it. By not telling you I felt strong. Like a man. The only positive for me in those days was helping you do good things for the world, and I did. I DID help, you know. More than you ever gave me credit for. I did it all because you needed me, and if I couldn't have your love, I wanted to earn your respect. Respect that no one else in my life had shown me. Here's where things go south for us, Buff: I never had power. I was just a guy. A pretty easy guy to overlook, apparently. You seem to have forgotten the things I've done, and I figured I'd always bear the indignity of being considered the weakest Scooby in silence. Again like a real man.

At this point, though, I feel compelled to run down the laundry list of little things I've done, since you clearly need reminding: I breathed life back into you. I came up with the plan to kill the Judge. I saved you from fish monsters. I saved you from a gang of zombies that were blowing up the school above you while you were preventing an apocalypse and pushing me aside. Even after you and Willow pulled away from me after we graduated, basically dismissing me as a loser, I came up with the idea of Combo Buffy.

I hit Glory with a wrecking ball that did more damage to her than any single blow you delivered. Lastly, I saved the world from Willow because you couldn't."

Tears were now streaming down Xander and Buffy's faces. "Now we come to a final battle, and when everything we've gone through comes to a head, after all I've sacrificed out of love and loyalty to you.....my two best friends on this earth told me I meant nothing. That I was to be pitied, and that I was a danger to you. You know Buff, your Mom was the closest thing to a real mother I ever had. When she died, it felt like mine did too. The only thing that has ever happened to me that compares with that is you and Willow abandoning me tonight. You took everything I did, everything I was, and spit on it in front of everyone. My existence had been validated by the fact that the two of you were alive...and that you loved and respected me. I believe you love me, sort of like a master loves it's pet. It will forever hurt me that I was never good enough for you to respect me, because I wasn't blessed with any special power. Well, I have it now."

He began backing away, unblinking, still speaking, his face now expressionless. "Please know this Buffy, what happens now is happening because of you." The First began chanting, along with the Turok-Hans. The cavern began to rumble and shake, and bile was oozing from the walls. Voices out of time were singing atonal dirges from virtually every nook and cranny of the cave, extolling the sins that make Evil a part of all our lives. The Scoobies stared in terror. Spike and Angel were weeping tears of blood, and Cordy's eyes were a milky white.. "Xander?" He turned and saw the First morphed as Joyce Summers. "Place your hands on the head of the goat and close your eyes. It's time to complete our destiny."

Xander turned and walked to the animal, now cowering against the wall. He turned one last time. "Buffy? Willow?" They looked to him. "I want you to remember, whatever happens...this is for you." He smiled at them, and turned back to his task. The Slayer and Wiccan's eyes widened and met, reaching out to each other through their tears. They suddenly knew what was going to happen. "Hey, Firsty?" Joyce's face looked to Xander in confusion. "You guys really need to get a metal detector in here." Like lightning, his hand moved down to his ankle under the flowing robe, where a 6 inch blade lay in a sheath around his sock. He smiled at the First. And buried the knife deep in the goat's chest.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" The voices roared as one massive choral assault to the senses. The magical barriers released the prisoners immediately, and the goat morphed into a giant, black spectre with one eye, staggering to the rear of the cave, clutching at it's chest in futility, unable to stem the tide of unholy blood that escaped from the gaping wound. Its black heart was faithfully, unknowingly doing its job and pumping away the life of its carrier. The Turok-Han shrieked in terror as they were set ablaze. The bile made its way back to the crevice from which it came, and the voices faded. One last voice remained, and faintly it spoke: "My time will come again.......someday...." Silence came as suddenly as the horrid cacophony had begun. Xander slowly rose from the floor of the cavern and limped out of the cave, on his own.

- End Chapter Four -