by Rob Sorenson

Xander took a moment to adjust to his sudden teleportation into the Hyperion. Not for the first time, Dammit Will!! went through his mind. Damn teleportations were freaky enough when he had a chance to prepare for them. No extra excitement was required as far as he was concerned. Looking around, he smiled when Cordy came out of the office with a smile of her own.

"You guys just have to make the grand entrance, don't you?"

"Blame Wills. She's in a hurry."

"Why didn't you call first? I would have prepared something."

Xander raised a disbelieving eyebrow, causing her to shrug.

"Ok, so I probably wouldn't have, but it seemed like the right thing to say to the man who's primarily responsible for a real honest-to-God paycheck."

Fred peeked around the corner to give Xander his standard greeting. "Hi, Mr. Slate."

"Hey, Flintstone. What's up?"

For whatever reason Xander and Fred had hit it off immediately...though they had virtually nothing in common outside of an affection for Hanna Barbera cartoons...hence Xander's decision to re-name Fred. Not exactly original, but cute in its way.

"Not too much. How are things at the quarry?"

"Actually that's why I'm here."

Xander glanced toward the stairs, then back to Cordy.

"He up yet?"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, let's see...is it noon?"

He checked his watch. "Just now, yeah."

"Then I'd go with no. Probably in the next two hours." She headed around the front desk, motioning for him to follow. "Come on, I'll get you some..."

She sighed loudly so that all could hear.

"Ok, not sure HOW many times I have to go over this, but whoever drinks the last cup of coffee needs to make another pot. Is that so much to ask, really? Do I have to start cracking skulls?"

A sleepy voice responded from the stairs. "Bring it down a notch, Honey Drop. Unless you wanted me to use Charmin as a filter, someone needs to make a grocery run."

Lorne stumbled slightly, holding a cloth to his forehead. Xander gave him a nod in greeting. Demons would always make him a little uncomfortable at the start, but he couldn't imagine one more harmless than this one. Well....Clem maybe, he reflected.

"Alexander the Great. How goes it?"

"I get by." Xander gave a pointed look to Lorne's head. "Long night?"

The green demon sighed heavily as he slumped on to the couch, eyes closed. "You have no idea."

"I always figured demons could hold their liquor."

"We're not all the same, sweetcheeks. Anyway, I didn't touch a drop."

"So what's with the wet cloth?"

"Late night readings. Suffice it to say that certain people should stick to 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'."

"That bad?"

Lorne opened one red eye and fixed it on Xander.

"Let me put it this way. Last night's set list included Melissa Manchester, Laura Branigan and two---TWO I say---Michael Boltons."

Everyone in the room winced at that as he continued.

"By the time I got to the last customer, I just couldn't do it. He got through three notes of 'Thank God I'm a Country Boy' before I stopped him. He got ten bucks and directions to the nearest Wal-Mart for a Magic 8-Ball. I was that wiped out."

"Damn. Here I thought I had a tough job."

"Glad to give you some perspective, babe."

Xander looked around. "Ok, gang's mostly here, except Wes and...the man I was looking for. Any chance we could get Angel up?"

No one said a word.

"Right. Probably not the best idea to wake a vampire, huh?"

Still nothing.

"Right. So we wait. Ok, then...is everyone planning to attend the big Buff Barbecue?"

Cordy frowned. "Yeah, but...as I recall, Buffy can't pour milk into her cereal properly. I mean, it's not necessary for me to drive three hours to get food poisoning. Fred's three alarm Texas chili can do that."

Fred called from the other room.

"I heard that! Next time you don't get any!"

Cordy's eyes widened. "What a loss."

Xander smiled. "I wouldn't worry about it, Cord. I'm sure Buff has a plan."

***********************************************************

"Quit stressin', B. It'll be fine."

"You don't understand. The last time I tried to cook for anyone it didn't go very well."

Buffy and Faith were seated in the corner office they shared. It's best feature was a large window that afforded them an unobstructed view over the entire gym from the second floor. The faint clanking noises of the weights could be heard through the glass partition as they continued to speak.

"Define not going very well."

"When Dawn came home for Christmas break, I decided to make lasagna."

Faith snorted out a laugh involuntarily, prompting a dark look from her sister Slayer.

"You know about this, I take it?"

"Sorry. Go ahead."

Buffy looked out the window, arms folded.

"No need to if you've already heard it."

"C'mon, B. I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

Buffy turned back and pointed a finger at Faith.

"In fact, it was terrible...but it wasn't my fault. These damn recipes leave out important stuff."

"Such as?"

"Well...I did everything it said, ok? Layers of pasta, meat, ricotta and mozzarella, marinara sauce...all the good stuff."

"Sounds yummy so far."

"I pre-heated the oven at 350 degrees, just like the recipe said. I cooked it for an hour...again, just like the recipe said."

Buffy hesitated a moment. Faith raised her eyebrows expectantly. Finally the blonde Slayer grumbled under her breath.

"Say again, B? Didn't catch that."

"I said nothing in the recipe mentioned I had to boil the noodles first."

Faith was silent for a moment, willing herself to maintain a straight face while Buffy glowered expectantly. Finally the brunette Slayer spoke.

"Now I understand what Dawnie meant when she said you went to KFC and ordered lasagna extra crispy."

Buffy slitted her eyes. "My sister the comedian."

"Ok, seriously. Why did you set this whole cookout thing up if it was gonna be this much of a deal?"

"I guess...I just wanted everybody to get together for a pain-free occasion. Have you noticed how we always kind of drift apart when things are good? It bothers me. I haven't seen your husband in three weeks, for example."

It was Faith's turn to face the window.

"Don't feel bad. I see less and less of him these days."

"Working too hard?"

"Yeah."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"Sure. He just tells me it won't be much longer. Then I don't see him for a while."

"What does Willow think?"

"Same thing I do. Dawn too."

"Have you guys done the double team?"

Faith raised an eyebrow. "Xander 'n me aren't into that."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I didn't mean THAT kind of double team."

"Oh. In that case, you lost me."

"You all talked to him one at a time, didn't you?"

"Well...I guess."

"There's the problem...ok, he IS coming this weekend, right?"

"As far as I know."

"Let Willow and me....try...."

Buffy trailed off, staring out the window. Faith frowned and looked
out.

"What?"

The blonde Slayer nodded toward the second weight bench.

"We have a customer service issue."

Faith followed her sister Slayer's gaze; after a moment her face
cleared.

"Ah. This is new. Want me to take care of it?"

Buffy was already rising from her seat and heading out. "Nah, I got it. And don't worry about Xand. We'll straighten him out."

"We could always threaten him with crunchy lasagna."

Faith heard a heavy sigh as the door closed behind her.

*****************************************************************

(Xander? Are you almost done?)

He jerked spasmodically, spilling coffee on the table. Gunn looked at him with alarm.

"Everything all right over there?"

Xander responded sarcastically.

"Oh yeah. Everything's peachy. Outside of the fact that I have 'witch-voice' in my head. Excuse me a sec."

Gunn sat back in his chair and observed Xander having a conversation--apparently with himself.

"I'm having a cup of tea. Is that all right with you?"

(Everybody here is already gone. I want to get home.)

"So go."

(I don't want to travel alone.)

"You're teleporting, Wills. It's not like there's any time for conversation."

(Xander, what's taking so long? And when did you start drinking tea?)

"I started when it was that or toilet papered coffee."

(Ok, not even going to ask. Are you going to answer my first question?)

"Angel's not available yet."

(He's working a case?)

"Not exactly."

Gunn, keeping his eyes on Xander, leaned toward Cordelia.

"Do they do this all the time?"

"It wouldn't surprise me."

"That's just bizarre."

"Well, we are talking about Willow here."

"I'd be buggin in a hurry."

Xander's eyes were widening as his head shook violently.

"Ummm...Wills, I don't know if that's a good idea."

Cordy glanced at Gunn, nodding toward her high school sweetheart.

"Here begins the buggin."

Suddenly a shaft of light became visible from upstairs. Everyone's gaze shot in that direction...except for one. Xander's elbow was now on the desk, chin cradled in his palm as he spoke.

"Just relax. This should be interesting."

Despite his reassurances, he was the only one still seated when a blur of red came galloping down the stairs. His oldest friend gazed around wildly for a moment...then spotted Xander. She ran over and crouched behind him. He stood and backed away, hands raised.

"Hey now...pick someone else."

She reconsidered for a moment and moved behind Cordelia, who was still trying to process what had happened. Before she could say a word Angel came slowly down the stairs, still in the process of fastening his black slacks as he stepped. Once the vampire reached the bottom floor, he briefly regarded everyone, finally fixing a steely gaze on Willow.

"Willow, you've been aware of vampires for what, ten years now?"

From her position directly behind a still-shocked Cordy, the redhead nodded meekly.

"Based on what you know, what do you think the likelihood is that our kind enjoys waking up to bright flashes of light?"

Now understanding, the former May Queen moved from in front of Willow, an incredulous look upon her face. The Wiccan shrugged meekly and nodded toward Xander.

"Sorry. We're sort of in a hurry."

Xander held his hands up again, addressing the vampire in a rush.

"Whoa now! Hold on there pardner. For the record, I was against scaring the Hell-or in your case the soul-out of anyone."

"My soul isn't the hiccups. You can't frighten it out of me."

"Ok, probably...but why push it? You never know when we might find another loophole. These gypsy curses are like Swiss cheese."

Fred spoke up. "Actually, I've read that the Romany culture is renowned throughout the world for the professionalism and stability of their spells."

She smiled shyly. "Of course I should know better than to talk about magic in the presence of the world's most powerful Wicca. I really should..."

The physics expert trailed off, noting Angel's look before finishing.

"...never talk for the rest of the week. Or month, maybe."

The vampire stalked toward his private office. "Coffee?"

Cordy's eyes widened. "Ummm...sure. Just give me a few minutes." I wonder if Charmin would really work, she thought.

Xander slid his eyes to Gunn and spoke softly.

"Is it wise to give an angry vampire caffeine?"

"Don't sweat it. Cord'll give him decaf."

"Ah. Ok, then."

The door slammed behind Angel, causing Lorne to moan in pain.

**************************************************

Buffy made the rounds, watching her quarry out of the corner of her eye as she spoke.

"Hey, Gail. Ready for class tomorrow?"

Her best student smiled brightly and turned off the Stair Master.

"Sure am. This time I'm going to break that board."

"You're not in a race," Buffy cautioned. "Being able to break the board isn't about how strong you are physically. It's about mental focus and concentration. That takes time to develop." Good one, Buff, she thought. Positively Giles-y.

Still, the blonde Slayer felt slightly guilty about imparting that particular piece of wisdom; in truth she'd been able to bend steel with her bare hands since the age of fifteen...but in Gail's case it was true enough.

"I understand that, Buffy. It's just...I'm goal oriented."

"Being goal oriented is great. Just don't push yourself so hard you wind up going backwards. Slow and easy wins the race."

"You just said I wasn't in a race."

Buffy squinted at her. "You know what I mean. Don't get smart or I'll have you drop and give me twenty."

Her student giggled. "Sorry. I knew what you meant."

The Slayer patted her on the shoulder. "You'd better get back to it before you cool off. See you tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok."

Gail resumed torturing her thighs as Buffy set off to work the room, smiling and exchanging pleasantries with the regulars. At last she reached her intended destination just as the handsome gentleman finished his set of dumbbell curls.

"That's a lot of weight."

The man smiled, showing off a perfect set of white teeth to go with his pumped-up biceps.

"Well, I've been working out for a while."

"Obviously." Buffy flashed a smile of her own, giving his body an appreciative once-over as she offered her hand. "I'm Buffy Summers. Welcome to my gym."

He returned her handshake. "You're the prettiest gym owner I've ever met."

She looked down shyly, scuffing the floor with the toe of her Reebok.

"You must not have met many gym owners."

"You'd be surprised."

"So...are you a member or guest?"

"I found one of your 14 day free trial coupons in that coffee shop downtown."

"The Espresso Pump?"

"Right, that's the one."

"The wonders of marketing. Well, I'm glad you decided to give us a try. How do you like it so far?"

He gazed at her, hazel eyes full of meaning. "I'm liking it better all the time."

Again Buffy smiled shyly and looked away. "So...are you done for today?"

"Almost." His head nodded, eyes glancing beyond her. "One more set on the bench."

Buffy moved aside, clearing his way. "Sorry. Didn't mean to mess up your routine."

"No problem. It's been worth it."

He began to put weights on each side of the bar.

"Buffy, I don't want to seem to forward since we just met...but would you like to join me for dinner tonight?"

Somehow her smile widened further. "Ummm...ok, sure. What do you like to eat?"

"I like to sample from different cultures. How about I make it a surprise? I promise it won't be disappointing."

"That sounds like fun. I like surprises."

He laid on the bench and gripped the bar tightly.

"This will be a good one."

She moved behind him. "You sure can lift a lot. Do you need me to spot you?"

He chuckled. "Buffy, this is four hundred pounds. That might be a bit much, don't you think?"

She giggled back. "Of course. Silly me."

He moved the weight down to his chest, then back up in a smooth motion. He spoke in a slightly strained voice.

"So...the name of this gym is Dusty's. If you're Buffy, who's that?"

He lowered the bar down as the Slayer responded.

"Well, pretty soon Dusty will be you."

"What do you...urgh!!"

Buffy's hand rested on top of the bar, now crushing against his throat.

"I'll say this much. You're an interesting one. On the one hand, you're pretty clever. That 'sample from different cultures' line was nicely worded."

He struggled to move the bar from his windpipe, but Buffy held fast, looking from left to right to make sure no one was paying attention.

"You know, it's not as if you need air. Quit your struggling already...otherwise I'll just twist your head off and be done with it. Now, as I was saying...on the one hand, your charm is well developed. On the other, you're in a place that has a giant mirror running along the wall...and you don't show up in it. This leads me to believe you may not be
the brightest bulb in the Home Depot."

The muscular vampire ceased struggling, eyes now yellow and burning with hatred.

"Of course, there's another good way to test your I.Q. Have you been able to figure out what my night job is? Here, let me give you some room to talk."

She lifted the bar ever so slightly, face displaying no signs of effort. The vampire croaked out, "Slay-"

Buffy put the bar back down before he could finish. "Good one. Here's the deal: vampires with a functioning brain don't come anywhere near Sunnydale any more. We've put the Hellmouth out of business. Apparently you didn't get the memo...might be that email virus that's been popping up. If I weren't going to stake you after I'm sure no one is looking, I'd give you some info on a firewall we use. Oh, well..."

She looked up to the second floor window, aware that Faith was watching. After their eyes met for a moment, her sister Slayer nodded her understanding and headed for the door of their shared office.

Buffy returned her attention to the vampire; he'd renewed his fruitless struggles against her once she'd revealed her intentions.

"I have one question for you, muscle-boy. If I think you're telling me the truth, I'll make it fast. If you don't...use your limited imagination. Understood?"

He nodded as much as he could with his restricted movement.

"How did you get in here in broad daylight? There are no sewer tunnels below this building."

He cast his eyes down. Buffy tightened her hold against him even further.

"Talk."

His eyes widened, then looked down again. The Slayer realized he was indicating something and looked down just as Faith began to yell from her second floor perch.

"WHO LEFT THE CONDOMS IN THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM!?!?"

Everyone in the gym-except for Buffy, whose gaze was fixed upon the hand of the vampire-turned to stare up toward the brunette Slayer.

"THEY'RE EXTRA LARGE!!"

Buffy's voice was soft. "Where did you get that?"

The vampire simply stared. She raised the bar so that he could speak and repeated herself more strongly.

"Apparently you didn't hear me. Where did you get that?"

Faith was slightly alarmed; she'd figured B would've taken care of the vamp by now. Ok...ad-lib time.

"UHHH...THEY ALSO HAVE THAT REALLY NEAT FRENCH RIBBED THING GOING, SO...EXCELLENT CHOICE, WHOEVER YOU ARE!!!"

The vampire gurgled with a slight smile.

"Looks like...I had one more surprise for you, Slayer."

Buffy said no more. She dropped the weight back on to his trachea and moved quickly to his hand, ripping away what she needed. The vampire gathered what remained of his strength and threw the bar straight up into the air.

Before he could leap off the bench, however, Buffy whipped her stake out of her back pocket and rammed it into his chest. As he became dust, she pocketed the stake and reached out, catching the bar as it descended. Forgetting where she was for a moment, she held the four hundred pound bar distractedly in one hand, while staring at the object she'd taken from the vamp.

She roused herself, quickly replacing the bar and putting away the object.

"Nice, B. Took you long enough."

Buffy turned to face Faith, holding out a broom and dustpan.

"Hey, I slayed. Do I have to do everything?"

"Yup. Rules are simple: she who slays 'em, cleans
'em up."

"That's a crummy rule. Who wrote that one?"

"I slipped it in when you weren't looking."

They shared a grin as Buffy took the items and quickly disposed of the vampire's remains.

"So...didja just wanna hear me tell everyone in the gym what kind of rubbers I like, or was there a better reason to take so friggin' long?"

Buffy's smile went away at that. She dug into her pocket and held the object up for her sister Slayer.

"Do you know what this is?"

Faith gave it a long look.

"Think I saw it on QVC at 2 in the morning once."

"Let's hope not."

Buffy sighed and headed back to the office. Faith caught up with her.

"So share, B. What is it?"

"I have a pretty good idea...but I'm not sure. I want to talk to Spike first."

Faith gave Buffy a long look, but the blonde said nothing more.

"Ok, whatever. Why don't you guys come over to my place later? I'll order a pizza with a side of AB negative for dipping."

Buffy nodded distractedly. "Sure. Sounds good."

"Cool. Ok, I'm outta here. Five-thirty sound righteous?"

"Yeah...that's fine...oh, wait! I'm picking Dawn up from work at five."

"So I get two pizzas. No big."

"Ok, then. We'll be there."

"See ya."

*************************************************

Xander looked at the clock and sighed harshly.

"You know what? This is ridiculous. Last time I checked, we pay the guy. Why should I be scared to just walk into his office and take care of business?"

Willow looked at him.

"Because he could snap your neck before you have time to say 'boo'?"

He considered.

"Ok, there is that. Where's Cordy, anyway?"

"She went to Starbuck's. If Angel gets his decaf, he's a little less..."

Willow raised her hands in the clawed position and sneered.

That was the first thing Cordelia saw when she walked in with a Grande Decaf Latte.

"Oh God, did Willow go all Big Bad again?"

The redhead rolled her eyes and put her hands down.

"No. I was just...will he cheer up now that he has coffee?"

"Well...a little. He goes from Mommie Dearest to Eeyore, kinda."

She frowned as Xander and Willow laughed out loud. "What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. You had to be there."

Cordy rolled her eyes-Xander wondered if she got headaches from doing that so much-and knocked on Angel's office door.

(What!?)

Cordelia squinted at Willow in annoyance. "I haven't forgotten this is your fault, you know."

The redhead cowered a bit. "Sorry."

"You should be. You don't have to live with him."

Cordy turned back to Angel's door. "Your coffee, O Master!"

A moment later, the door opened quickly. A pale hand snatched the steaming cup from her hand. With a mumbled "Thanks," the door again slammed shut.


Yet again Lorne moaned at the sound. "Good God. Why doesn't someone just call Keith Moon over here and be done with it?"

Xander shook his head. "He's dead."

"Ok, John Bonham."

"Also dead."

"Are there ANY rock drummers still alive that I can use as a sarcastic reference?"

"Lemme think about it. Maybe..."

Xander's train of thought was broken as he observed his best friend with her eyes closed.

"Wills?"

No response.

"Willow?"

She blinked a moment and focused on him. "Sorry. Nodded off there for a moment."

"Uh-huh. What did you do?"

"What do you mean? I'm tir--"

Xander interrupted this time, speaking very slowly.

"Will....what...did...you...do?"

She frowned at him.

"I already told you, Xander. Are you calling me a-"

"Yup. Pants on fire and everything."

Now her mouth was open in shock.

"I cannot believe you!"

"Will, when you actually nod off, your head lolls to one side and you drool a little."

"I...do...NOT, Xander Harris! You take that back right now!"

"Quit stalling. What did you just-"

Abruptly the door opened and Angel came striding out quickly.

"Ok...got things to do today. What's first?"

He looked around until his eyes fell on his two most important
clients.

"Of course, you guys. Come on into the office. Sorry it took me so long to wake up, I realize you seemed to be in a hurry. I mean, you must've been, because Willow risked her life waking me up that way, so..."

He smiled and hurried into his office. Xander sat still for a moment, just staring at the suddenly loquacious vampire. Angel waved impatiently.

"Come on in. What did you want to talk about?"

Willow got up first; Xander followed a moment later, casting a suspicious glance her way as they entered. Angel gestured to the chairs across from his desk as he spoke.

"So, what's up?"

Willow, apparently considerably less put off than Xander, spoke
first.

"We've shut down the site."

The's vampire's eyes bugged out.

"Oh God, no!! Did you guys lose funding? Is there a strike? What can I kill to make this ok? I am SO sorry...jeez, don't these city people realize that there are lives in the balance with these budgetary decisions? It's enough to make me want to feed on those guys. Ok, let me work on this--"

Xander raised his hands defensively.

"Hey, hey...don't vamp out, man. That's not what she meant. We're just taking a few days off, that's all."

"Oh. Ok, that's great! Time off is good. Some rest and relaxation will recharge the old batteries."

"Right. That's the idea. Anyway, here's the thing: I figured you guys would be coming to Sunnydale right behind us for Buffy's party, so..."

Angel's face lit up as he pointed enthusiastically.

"Stop right there! Way ahead of you, Xan-man."

"Ummm...did you just call me-"

"Gunn and Fred were never coming. I know, I know...I tried to convince them to join us, but they don't know Buffy very well, and they figured they'd be out of place. That kinda bothers me...on the other hand, it also makes things easier from a security perspective. They can watch the site while everyone else is in Sunnydale. It's a shame though. Fred's from Texas, you know. I know it's a cliche, but they really know how to barbecue
down there."

Xander was shaking his head dazedly, so Willow took over again, smiling.

"Ok, then...that's settled. We're resuming work the day after the holiday."

"Great, great. You guys have a nice little mini-vacation. So...anything else?"

"No. That's it."

"All right then. I should check on Wesley's progress."

Xander frowned. "Hey, where is he anyway?"

"Surveillance work. We got a tip last night that something big was brewing. When we hear things like that, we go straight to the source."

Angel stood quickly. "So, if there's nothing else...?"

Willow and Xander took their cue and returned to the lobby. The redhead glanced around.

"What happened to Lorne?"

Fred was smiling. "He said he was going to Sears to buy a Walkman. I think he wants more soothing noises in the morning."

"I wish you could come to the cookout with us. You guys know you're more than welcome."

"Thanks, but somebody has to stay behind in case stuff comes up. On the bright side, Charles and I will enjoy having some time alone together. That's not always easy to come by here."

Angel whisked past them, singing softly to himself.

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow flowers in her hair
And a dress cut down to there..."

Fred's eyes followed him, then back to Willow.

"What in the world was that?"

"I guess he's in a good mood."

"Wow. I'd better write this down."

They shared a chuckle. The redhead caught Xander's eye and decided to wrap things up.

"Right. Well, I guess we'll see you next week. Do me a favor and tell everyone else we said goodbye, would you? We're going to see them in a couple of days anyhow."

"Sure. Have a safe trip home."

They embraced quickly. Xander contented himself with a little wave and a grin as he walked out the door.

Fred was about to check on Angel when long arms snaked around her from behind. She closed her eyes and smiled.

"Mmmm. That feels nice."

"So do you."

"You know, pretty soon we're going to have this hotel all to ourselves."

She could feel Gunn's breath quickening against her neck.

"Nobody upstairs right now."

"Charles, don't we have work to do?"

He began kissing her neck, eliciting a quiet moan.

"Can't think of anything we need to be doing right now...'cept for one."

She moved her hips against him.

"Whatever do you have in mind, Mr. Gunn?"

"You're the smart one. I bein' too subtle here?"

"Come on, Charles. Seriously, there's some stuff that has to be...taken care...of...."

She trailed off as he gently bit her earlobe. Slowly he skimmed his teeth over her skin.

As far as she was concerned, the train had just left the tracks.

"Ok, upstairs it is."

As they crept through the lobby, Cordelia could be overheard.

"Would you please try to sit down and relax? And quit singing that
stupid song."

Fred and Gunn suppressed a laugh and ran up the stairs. Their feet had just touched the second floor when Cordy stormed out from her enclosed area behind the front desk.

"What is your connection problem? You're driving me crazy."

He came walking out behind her, a bright smile on his face.

"What's wrong? Don't you like it when I'm in a good mood?"

"This isn't a good mood. This is-forgive me, I don't have a more current word to use at the moment-a wiggins. You're having a wiggins."

He laughed. "Hey, it's your fault. You had to load up the coffee."

She turned to him and stared. "What?"

"I mean, usually you get me decaf...but today? Oh man, am I buzzing. That had to be a triple shot of espresso."

Cordelia's mouth was open. "No....way."

She hustled into his office and retrieved the empty cup from his wastebasket.

"See...look! It's right here on the side of the cup. Decaf latte."

"Well, someone can't read...because I feel like running ten miles. I have energy to burn."

"Angel, if you go outside right now, it won't require any energy for you to burn. Just settle down." She looked back at the cup. "Ok, note to self. Beat the shit out of the Starbuck's chick next time I see her."

"There was blood and a single gunshot
But just who shot who
At the Copa....Copacabana.
The hottest spot north of Havana."

"For the love of God, would you cut it out?!"

"See now, I'm all ready to sing, and Lorne's not here. I have no luck at all."

"The singing I can deal with, but if you keep doing the Hustle you're going to make me scream."

Angel grinned wickedly. "Hmmm...there's an idea."

Cordelia's eyes widened in recognition. She pointed a warning finger his way.

"Whoa there, cowboy. You see this pencil behind my ear?"

She reached up and held it out.

"This means I'm working. Someone has to straighten out the files around here. You menfolk apparently can't grasp the alphabet, so...my day is booked."

He moved toward her with a smirk and placed his lips over hers.

"Mmf...Angel...mmf....mmmm." Cordelia tried to resist, but he was insistent; she began to weaken as his tongue entered her mouth. A minute later, she finally broke away for air. Angel, of course, had no such problems. He stepped back, still smiling wickedly.

"You said I couldn't burn any energy outside...but I'll bet I can burn an awful lot right in here with a little help. What do you say? Wanna play hooky?"

She stared at him, then the pencil in her hand.

"Screw filing."

She carelessly tossed the writing utensil over her shoulder and moved toward him quickly. He lifted her into his arms and kissed her even harder than before as he walked them to the stairs. Cordelia, now straddling his hips, gasped out her final words before they began to ascend.

"Ok, change of plan. Tip Starbucks chick big time."

***************************************************

"You know, you shouldn't say 'pants on fire' to someone who could really make that happen to you."

Xander looked at Willow in alarm.

"Hey, that's not funny. Plus, you WERE lying. Admit it."

"I never lied. I simply withheld information. You should know all about that when it comes to Angel."

Xander looked away for a moment.

"Yeah. Guess so."

His stride increased in speed; Willow hurried after him.

"Wait. Don't be mad. That just...came out."

"Forget it. No big deal."

They walked together for a couple of minutes, with only the drone and whir of engines to break the silence between them. Their dampened mood reduced their pace a bit; they were now being passed by other pedestrians along Wilshire.

"So what did you withhold?"

She looked at him, confused for a moment.

"Huh? OH. At the hotel. You accused me of putting a spell on Angel. I didn't do that."

More silence. Xander sighed heavily.

"Sooo...you did what, exactly?"

"I sorta changed the coffee from unleaded to regular."

"Ah. Ok. As long as you didn't do something to...mess him up permanently or anything."

It was Willow's turn to be hurt.

"Do you honestly think I would hurt Angel?"

"No."

"Ok, then. I wish you wouldn't say things like that."

"I wish you wouldn't use magic simply to get what you want faster."

"It didn't hurt anyth-"

"Heard that song played before. Let's try a new record."

She breathed deeply. "I'm never going bad again, Xander."

He stopped and looked straight at her, eyes unblinking.

"I never did...at least not like you. That doesn't mean I never did bad things. Good people hurt others too. Thing is, you're a good person who can literally move a mountain."

She dropped her gaze. "I get what you're saying."

He put his forefinger underneath her chin and lifted it back up as the throngs milled around them.

"I wish there was a way I could fill the hole inside you. I hate the fact that you're alone... and I'm not going to stand here and tell you I have the answer. I can tell you this much for sure, though: using magic to get your jollies isn't the right one."

She was deeply moved by his words, but still couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"I thought Giles was back for a second there."

"I channeled him. It's a thing I do."

They embraced for a moment, then resumed walking down the boulevard. After a minute of silence that was much more comfortable than the last, Xander spoke up.

"We are teleporting outta here soon, right?"

"This coming from the man who just advised me to cool off on the magics?"

"I haven't seen my wife in three days. Horny Xander exemption. It's in the black arts manual."

"Ok, first of all, didn't need to hear the horniness thing. Secondly, you haven't read a black arts manual in your life."

"I read the manual for one of those Epilady shavers in the bathroom when I was little."

She shivered. "I stand corrected. Whoever invented that sucker was Evil with a capital E."

"Getting back to the original question about teleporting?"

"Of course we're going to, but...I don't think doing it in front of the people of downtown LA is a good idea, do you?"

"Right. Ok, let's look for a spot."

They walked in silence for a minute, scanning for a secluded place from which they could generate a big flash of light without garnering too much attention. Xander was looking across the street at an apparently condemned building when he stopped in his tracks.

"What the hell?"

"What is it?"

He turned around, scanning the throng of pedestrians walking down the busy street.

"Xander?"

He shook his head and turned back around.

"Thought I saw someone for a second."

"Who?"

"It couldn't have been. It's impossible. Let's just forget it."

Willow stopped walking and faced him, arms folded. He returned her questioning stare for a moment...then caved like he always did when she looked at him that way.

"Ok..just for a second, I thought I saw Drusilla."

"Say again?"

"You heard me."

Almost involuntarily, Willow looked back from where they'd come.

"Was she in a window?"

"No."

The Wicca looked at him and spoke carefully.

"She was...walking down the street?"

Xander didn't answer for a moment. Was it her? I mean...who else looks like that?

"Wills...I'm almost 100 percent sure it was her."

"Ok, not to point out the obvious, but..."

She pointed to the azure afternoon sky. Xander grimaced.

"That's why I said forget it. I realize there's no way, but....it was weird. That face.."

"Is generally unmistakable," Willow agreed. "Still..."

"Like I said, just forget it. Hey look...there's an abandoned warehouse. I bet we can slip in there for a minute."

"You lookin' for a quickie, Harris? 'Cause if ya are, you're barking up the wrong redwood."

"When did you start thinking you were so funny?"

She playfully poked him in the ribs with her elbow as they crossed the street.

"I've always been funny. You just talked too much for me to get a word in."

"Ow! Cut it out or I'll tell Faith!"

"Stop being such a baby or you'll have to go home the old fashioned way."

"It's not my fault you hit so hard."

Willow sighed. "I wouldn't mind being able to."

"Huh? Wouldn't mind what?"

"I wish I knew how to fight."

"Ummm...Will, no one is stronger than you."

"When it comes to magic, maybe. When I'm drained, though...I'm useless."

"Wills, you were never useless before you had magic. You had a big old brain to use. Everyone fights their own way."

"You've learned how to fight."

"Au contraire, mon redhair. I've learned a simple move or two from Faith and Buffy. Just long enough to keep a vamp from pigging out until they show up."

"So, maybe I can do that. Learn a couple of moves."

They entered the warehouse; as Xander suspected it was completely empty. He turned to face Willow.

"Where is this coming from?"

"All I'm saying is, I've never really been able to fight. I want to learn how. It's not that complex, really."

"Ok. Well...why don't you take one of the classes at Dusty's? You can learn a couple of simple moves there."

"I don't know. We'll see. Are you ready?"

"Yeah...can you do me a favor and put me somewhere specific?"

"As long as you promise to avoid trying to speak French again."

Xander was about to relate his destination when he spotted a large office building a block down.

"Hey, check that out. I hear so much about 'em, but this is the first time I've actually seen the place."

Willow craned her neck to follow his gaze. "Oh, right. What are their names again?"

"As often as Angel complains, you would think we'd remember. Something about animals...dogs and sheep...Damn, what WAS their name?"

********************************************

"Wolfram & Hart welcomes you, ladies and gentlemen. It is an honor to have such an esteemed panel with us today."

Lilah Morgan, Managing General Partner of the Los Angeles division, stood tall at the lectern. The conference room held seating for 100 humans. Those estimates often changed, of course; one never knew what species required representation at any given time.

She'd had some of her finest moments in this room: the trumping of associates from Lindsay (she missed him...in reality, only he'd been truly worthy of her talents), to Gavin (an A for effort...an F for stamina). Most of all, however, was the now-famous "headless" coup of Linwood. Her former boss simply didn't have what it took to deal with the likes of Angel and his merry band of sycophants.

Not that Lilah had a problem with those. She LOVED sycophants. She'd once confided to Lindsay that walking into a conference room full of eager first-year attorneys made her skin hum with anticipation. Their nervous need to please was like a drug.

"I love to smell the flop sweat of young lawyers in the morning," she'd said. "It smells like...victory."

He'd smiled in true understanding at that. She really missed Lindsay...

Today's meeting, however, was quite possibly the most important in the history of the firm...and that was no small feat. If Lilah was ever going to sweat, it would most certainly be now.

Of course...she wouldn't. The very idea was ridiculous.

Still, any human being would be nervous in front of this group. An appearance by the Senior Partners was more than enough...

"I'm uncertain if you're all aware of this, but this is first time we've had this kind of representation in one room. I'm certain you understand the import of the occasion, so I won't apologize for the strict security measures we've employed. The searches you were required to undergo were absolutely necessary. Hopefully most of you felt little pain."

She smiled warmly for their benefit.

"Now, after we attend to one more bit of business we can begin. Please feel free to unseal your information packets and familiarize yourselves. Please excuse me for a moment."

Lilah marched out of the room and headed down the deserted hallway, high heels echoing eerily. She'd never remembered an order being given to completely clear the office for a meeting...but this was no ordinary meeting. Making an abrupt turn to the right, she entered the security office without knocking. The guards immediately stood up a little straighter; the fear in their eyes was clear.

She regarded the television monitors. "Anything suspicious?"

The shift commander spoke in a slightly quavering voice.

"Yes, ma'am. The Ford Econoline we reported to you earlier is still parked in the same location. It's been five hours, yet no one has come in or out."

That's what I like about my guy. Stays at it until the job is done, she thought with a secret smile.

"Well, whoever it is, I'm not taking any chances. Soundproof the conference room."

"Yes, ma'am."

**********************************************

Wesley Wyndham-Pryce was not enjoying his day.

Outside it was eighty-five balmy degrees. There were no cases of any note to work on; for all he knew everyone else at Angel Investigations was enjoying high tea right about now. The headphones from his long-range listening device were beginning to chafe against his skin, even with the provided padding to soften the pressure.

The material he'd gathered, however, had been worthy of his time. Whatever Wolfram & Hart were up to, it was clearly vital to them. Taking the radical step of clearing hundreds of lawyers out of their offices-for one staff meeting, no less-was unprecedented to Wesley's knowledge.

Even the appearance of the Senior Partners hadn't garnered this kind of response.

Still, he was growing weary. He'd just picked up his cell to summon Gunn to take a shift at the headphones when deafening white noise assaulted his eardrums.

"Dammit!!" He flung them off as quickly as he could, barely maintaining the presence of mind to avoid throwing the long range microphone to the floorboard. Instead, he laid it gently down and slumped back into his seat. He removed his glasses-it hadn't felt like a contact lense sort of day if he were to be cooped up in the van for hours-and rubbed his eyes.

He stared up at the seventh floor window for a moment, trying to imagine just what could cause such massive precautions to be taken. As expected, his only answer to that unspoken question was the reflection given off by tinted glass in the late afternoon sun.

The former Watcher started the van, deciding to head to the hotel and do some reflecting of his own.

**************************************

Lilah re-entered the conference room at the precise moment Wesley pulled away from the curb.

"Again, I apologize for the delay. I hope everyone's had a chance to go over the summary we've provided. I'm aware, of course, that some of you were present the last time this event occurred. Clearly you may not need to read this as you were there...but it's an awfully long time ago. A refresher certainly wouldn't hurt."

She flashed another winning smile; a few smiles came her way in return. Well....at least she thought so. Could be in their dimension that was a sneer of hatred. Hard to grasp subtleties from beings no one has seen in thousands of millenia.

"If I may be allowed a brief personal aside, I consider it to be a privilege to be involved in this undertaking. My species, as you all know, didn't even exist when this event last occurred."

A sonorous voice spoke up from the back of the room.

"Your emotions are of no concern to us. Report on current operations."

"We've gathered emissaries to work for our side. They were all chosen specifically for their skills...and their connection to each individual target. If we can, we'll thin the good-guy herd a little. At worst, however, we're taking strides to cause dissension within the ranks."

The same deep voice emanated from the rear; it seemingly came from everywhere.

"We would prefer them to be eliminated before the event, if possible. What has been done specifically?"

"We're utilizing assets who are known to be hostile toward the targets. They'll be given every opportunity to destroy them before the event occurs."

"Have we any assurances that they will be successful?"

Lilah shrugged. "They've all tried before, without success. Frankly sir, if any of the targets are eliminated by these assets we've contracted...it would be a bonus."

"Explain."

"Our targets are an extraordinarily successful team when they operate as one cohesive unit. Their failures-which are few and far between in our earthly dimension- have only occurred when there was disharmony in the ranks. They're powerful--but still human. Even the converted demons among them share human characteristics, as it was their original form on this planet.

Whether they defeat the enemies we put before them is irrelevant. One way or the other, we're trying to cause emotional damage to the targets. Their interpersonal relationships are a source of phenomenal strength. On the other hand, it's also a source of great weakness if even one link in the chain is disrupted.

In short, ladies and gentlemen, it's what we call a double-edged sword."

She smiled once more.

"We'll make sure they're pointing it toward themselves. All that will be required of you is to thrust it into their hearts."

- End Chapter Two-