by Rob Sorenson

***************Bavaria, Feb 1975*****************

"Hans, what is happening to me?"

Inge Steiner was in tears. Her Watcher could hardly bear to....well, watch. Still, he would do what he must.

"I'm uncertain. Have you been feeling ill?"

She shook her head quickly, eyes wide with panic.

"No, I've been fine, except for--"

She broke off without finishing her statement, but her eyes told the tale. Katzenbach finished her statement to himself. <She's been fine, except for what happened with me>.

Despite his assertions of that night just one week before, he couldn't bear the thought of leaving her. Inge herself had not dared to mention it, as if their silence on the matter would make things better.

Naturally, they did not.

Still, business as usual had commenced, albeit awkwardly. Awkwardness had never existed before...but that was then.

That was before Hans Katzenbach had broken the heart of a young woman he adored. Such things simply did not go away. Now things were about to become infinitely worse. He was trying hard to give her the impression that he was contemplating the matter at hand, hating himself for it every second.

"Inge, have you touched any demons other than vampires recently? Any species that I haven't seen or heard about from you?"

"No, of course not! You're with me on every patrol. Even so, what demon do you know of who could do this?"

He conceded the point with a nod. Inge Steiner knew nearly as much of demonic lore as her Watcher did.

"You say that you're unable to do anything as you normally do?"

She shook her head with annoyance and turned away, surprising him. His Slayer rarely displayed ill temper. Still, he could hardly fault her. He was providing very little comfort or help.

"Hans, I can still do things. I'm not crippled. I just--I'm not ME!! This cannot be me!!"

As part of their training regimen, she regularly split wood to maintain her endurance. At first, she had not only sliced the logs in half, but the stump that was used to hold them, providing a useful lesson on when and how to exert her power. Not only that, it had given them a good laugh, which was rare indeed. Hans and Inge hadn't shared so much as a smile in recent days.

This morning, her Watcher had placed the log on the stump as usual. When Inge hefted the axe, she felt something wrong immediately, but took her customary swing anyway.

Half of the piece of wood was penetrated. She'd raised an eyebrow in surprise, and took another swing, severing it.

For many normal humans, two swings were a fairly normal occurrence. For a woman, it was in fact an above average display of strength.

For a Slayer, however, it was child's play. Inge could chop down a mighty oak with one swing of her axe if she chose to do so. Katzenbach simply placed another piece on the stump without a word as she stared at the axe, following up with a frown at her arms.

She swung again, this time putting everything she had into it....and achieved only slightly better results. Yet again it was necessary to swing twice.

Since that moment, Inge Steiner had been as close to panic as Hans Katzenbach had ever seen her. He'd thought it was impossible to hate himself more than he had over the last seven days.

He was wrong.

She asked for a break, not wanting to face the truth, and proceeded to test everything in her Slayer arsenal on her own: enhanced hearing, speed, reaction time. All were perfectly acceptable for human standards. For Slayers, however, it was a far cry from what was necessary to perform her duties.

At last, out of sheer desperation, she'd done what she used to do without thought; now it took an effort of will to speak to the man she loved.

Walking over to her, he placed her hands in his. This froze them both. It was their first physical contact since that terrible night, and for a moment Inge forgot everything and found herself lost in her Watcher's gaze.

"Inge, I'll contact the Council immediately. I'm sure we will find the answer through them. They have files that go back over a thousand years. Please relax. All will be well."

She took a deep breath to compose herself and nodded to him, a ghost of a smile appearing on her lips.

"Please hurry. We're going to need more firewood soon."

He smiled back at her half-hearted attempt at humor. <So very brave>, he thought to himself, barely able to keep the tears out of his eyes.

"Go...rest. Lie down in your room. Perhaps after you get some proper sleep everything will be back to normal."

"Normal? What is that?"

He pointed upstairs with a look of mock seriousness. She squeezed his hands briefly and slowly made her way up, feeling his eyes upon her.

Once she was out of sight, he exhaled harshly and rubbed his thumb and forefinger against his forehead, pinching the loose folds of skin. He needed some air.

Deciding to walk the familiar path that he and Inge had spent countless nights upon, he walked out the door. As he turned toward the woods he found himself face to face with Rupert Giles. The young man simply stared at his elder without a word. Katzenbach spread his hands.

"Do you have something to say?"

Giles very softly spoke one word.

"Cruciamentum?"

A nod was the only response as the senior Watcher brushed past him. Giles followed.

"How is she handling it?"

Katzenbach cut his eyes toward his unwanted companion, still saying nothing. As expected, the young man didn't take the hint.

"I should think she would do rather well. She was a strong young woman before she became a Slayer, yes?"

Katzenbach could see the futility of anything resembling subtlety. Sighing deeply, he spoke.

"She was--and is--a strong woman. I know she will pass this test. If you don't mind, Rupert, I'd like to be alone for a while."

"Is something bothering you? Perhaps I could help."

"You're offering help now? Are you feeling well, Rupert?"

Giles stopped in his tracks, clearly offended.

"Fine, then. I don't bloody care what's wrong with you. Why do I even try?"

The young man began stomping away furiously. Katzenbach watched him leave, feeling regretful. Rupert Giles had actually been a blessing in disguise in recent days, providing a buffer between the Slayer and her Watcher. The tension was still there, of course, and Giles knew perfectly well what it was, but he'd shown the grace to leave it alone. It occurred to the German that progress had indeed been made, and his own personal concerns had blinded him.

"Rupert, wait!"

Giles stopped and turned toward him, glowering.

"Rupert, I apologize. You have been very helpful recently. Both Inge and I are grateful for that. Come, let's walk."

After a moment's hesitation, Giles rejoined him on the path as Katzenbach began speaking in a professorial tone.

"If you are fortunate enough to reach this point with your Slayer someday, this time will inevitably come. The Slayer must not be allowed to show complacency."

"Complacency? Inge's a bloody machine. At what point did she become complacent?"

"You know as well as I do this has nothing to do with her specifically. It is a traditional test of a Slayer's continuing dedication to training and discipline."

"It was traditional for the Aztecs to perform human sacrifice to appease the Gods."

Katzenbach stopped walking and faced Giles.

"Your point being?"

"Not all tradition is good."

"This isn't about what we want."

"Heard that before."

"Probably because it is true. My job was to prepare her for the trials she is about to endure."

"Your job includes disabling her."

"Temporarily, yes. She must show the resourcefulness required of a successful Slayer without her preternatural strength."

"I should think the fact that she is alive would be evidence enough of her rate of success."

"Well, Rupert, the Council does not share your opinion."

"Do you?"

Katzenbach hesitated before abruptly walking on, leaving the question hanging in the air.

***********************************************************

Buffy, Spike and Willow entered Bellevue Hospital, exchanging pleasantries with the front desk. They had come to know each other by name now. Buffy had the distinct impression that the duty nurse was smitten with her man. This was reinforced by the nurse's lingering glance at his rear end as they walked past.

After briefly considering snapping her neck, Buffy contented herself with a cold stare, causing the nurse to quickly lower her head to a clipboard. Walking on, she noticed a smile forming on the blonde vampire's lips. She glared at him.

"Something funny, William?"

"That nurse is always checkin' me out. Took you long enough to notice."

Buffy folded her arms defensively.

"I'm secure in my womanhood. In this case, she was being a little too obvious."

"Felt the need to claim what was yours, did you pet?"

She took his elbow.

"You have a problem with that?"

"No, ma'am. Just don't hurt her. She's actually quite lovely."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Please. She's not all that great. You just like the whole nurse's uniform thing. I suppose you'd like to see me in that outfit."

Spike stopped and stared at her. "Would you do that? Really?"

Ignoring him, she kept walking. "Plus, her name is Rusty. What kind of name for a woman is Rusty?"

"What kind of name is Buffy?"

It was her turn to stop and stare.

"The kind of name that certain blonde vampires scream out loud. Often, I might add. Jerk."

She said the last word with a grin on her face. Spike leaned close and kissed her. They lingered for a few moments until a slight clearing of the throat could be heard.

"Ummm...guys? The meeting is supposed to be in five minutes."

Buffy broke off the kiss and smiled. "Sorry Wills. Lost my sense of discipline there for a second. You say we have five minutes?"

Willow nodded her assent. Buffy turned her head back to her boyfriend.

"That should be more than enough time for you and Rusty considering your....early arrival habits. Why don't you see if there's a vacant storage room around for you two?"

Willow blushed furiously and walked away as Spike's eyes widened.

"Early arrival habits? That's it. You're cut off, Slayer."

She giggled and put her hands to his ribs. He squirmed away from her.

"Bloody Hell!! Stop doing that. People will see!!"

"What's wrong, Spikey Poo? Don't want anyone to know who the most ticklish vampire in the world is?"

"Can you please act like an adult in a public place?"

She sighed dramatically as they resumed walking toward Xander's room.

"You're no fun any more."

"Yeah, well, having to come to a bloody Scooby meeting during the day isn't my idea of a cracking good time."

She took his hand, caressing her thumb over his knuckles. "I know, honey. I'm sorry. At least in New York there are plenty of shadows with all the big buildings."

Spike was weak to her touch, and she knew it. Trying to maintain a grumpy facade, he partially succeeded in hiding the goofy grin from appearing.

"Right, then, let's get on with it."

*************************************************************

Xander awoke slowly, his conscious mind just beginning to register where he was. In his first few moments all he could focus on was the warm feeling covering the left half of his body. This was shortly followed by a remarkably powerful snoring sound that could only be his Faith. She'd threatened him with various forms of torture in the earliest days of their relationship if he revealed that particular quirk of hers to the rest of the Gang.

Lying in his bed in the sterile atmosphere, he idly wondered if, as in almost everything else, Slayerness augmented snoring noises. The idea of two of the most important women in his life having a snoring contest brought the first genuine smile to his face in ten days.

His eyes slid down, seeing mostly flowing raven hair spread over his chest, her face obscured by her tresses. He couldn't resist reaching down and removing the hair from her cheek, just for the treasured moment of looking upon her porcelain skin. The fact that her mouth was wide open, with drool leaking on to his shirt as she did her ongoing chainsaw impression only endeared her to him further.

Faith had been a notoriously light sleeper when they first cohabitated, sometimes leaping out of bed at the slightest noise in a fighting stance. Xander, as always, was patient with her. Twenty years of expecting the worst with no relief had ingrained her with a paranoia that never ceased to amaze him. The fact that her Slayer senses provided her with superior hearing only made it more difficult for her to truly relax.

Slowly, but surely, this had changed when she slept with Xander. A man who asked nothing more from her other than simply to be herself was totally new. Naturally she rebelled against his initial efforts at tenderness, feeling distinctly uncomfortable at the caresses and whispers in the dark of night. More than once she had nearly thrown him off their bed in her insistence to keep him away after they had sex. Mistrust had kept her alive; vulnerability was asking for pain.

Naturally, Xander had been hurt by this; beneath the jokey facade he was a deeply sensitive man with self esteem issues of his own. Still, he didn't give up. He simply stayed with her, telling her to take all the time she needed. She'd rolled her eyes and flipped over, facing away from him.

Finally, one night he'd awoke to the sound of quiet sobs in the middle of the night. Looking over to the opposing edge of Faith's bed, he saw her broad shoulders, hunched and shaking. Reaching over, his touch caused her to spin toward him like lightning, snarling like a caged animal. Anticipating her reaction, he caught her shoulders with both hands, arms extended. He knew full well that she had the ability to break both arms at the elbow before he could make another move, but he did it anyway.

Faith looked deeply at Xander...and saw love. Not disgust, not carnal lust, not judgment....love. It was all in those chocolate brown eyes. Her own matching ones blinked, unable to process it immediately. It was as if she was seeing him for the first time. He'd moved one hand to her face and wiped a tear from her cheek, lingering to caress her gently.

Finally her lower lip began to quiver and she began breathing hard. Xander removed his hands from her shoulder and opened them, inviting her into his embrace. She flew into him so hard they both nearly went flying off the bed, but he just stayed on the edge as she wept.

He'd never asked her why she had broken down that night. She had never offered an explanation. From then on, however, the nightly ritual of Faith laying her head on his chest before they went to sleep together had begun. For the first time in her life, Faith closed her eyes feeling safe.

In his hospital bed the previous night, releasing all the pain and anguish that had been inflicted upon him, it came to him in a flash of crystal clarity.

Faith and Xander protected each other's damaged hearts. No one else truly understood it but them, which is what made it special. It made Buffy and Spike's relationship all that much easier for him to accept and understand. They helped each other heal.

The snoring sounds began to break up a bit as sunlight began creeping toward her closed eyelids. Xander stroked her hair, causing her to moan contentedly. He smiled as she raised her sleepy eyes toward him, chin resting on his sternum. She spoke to him sleepily.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself."

"How you feeling?"

"Better than I ever thought possible."

This earned him a good morning kiss that neither would have ever done with anyone else. To them, though, morning breath just wasn't a big deal. Her hand was easing it's way down toward his crotch when he stilled her. She looked at him with embarrassed amusement.

"Sorry. Habit."

"Please don't break the habit on my account. It's just--"

"You're still a little sore?"

"Actually not so much. I just don't want Dawnie walking in on us. Plus the others will be coming soon."

Faith sighed in an exaggerated manner. "Fine, then. I guess you won't be getting any today."

"Wrong, sweetheart. I plan on walking out of here in a few hours."

She slid off him, creating as much friction as possible, and put her feet on the floor. His groan of frustration brought a smirk to her face that Xander wanted to kiss away.

"Be right back. I gotta take a piss."

"Thank you for the info. I'd forgotten how romantic you are."

She chuckled and made her way into the bathroom, hollering at him as she sat.

"Are you sure you're ok? How are you going to get the doctor to agree to take that cast off?"

He raised his voice.

"The doctor won't. You will."

"Oh. Ok, if you're that sure, we'll do it in a little bit."

A new voice entered the conversation.

"Speaking of Little Bits, why is she sleeping outside your door?"

Xander knew the voice, but he couldn't see him.

"Spike? Are you invisible?"

"I'm down here, you wanker."

Xander looked in and saw William The Bloody on his hands and knees. He raised a questioning eyebrow. Spike cocked his head at the window, morning sunlight streaming through. Xander nodded, unable to keep a smile from his face. The vampire glowered at him and looked around the room for a safe place in which he could crawl.

"Where's Buffy?"

"Given' the Bit a talking to. What'd you make her do, anyway?"

"I didn't make her do anything. Faith wanted her to stand guard while she stayed here."

"Stand guard? Faith's been here every bleedin' night. Why stand guard now?"

Xander said nothing as Spike began to smile with understanding.

"Ah. Right then. You ARE feeling better."

"No hanky panky, Spike. We just slept together."

"It's good to talk to you again."

Xander was surprised at the change in subject, but touched nonetheless.

"Thanks."

Spike simply nodded. Xander nodded back. It was their way.

The vampire proceeded to crawl around the right side of Xander's bed, heading for the corner where the sun didn't reach near the rear of the room. Halfway toward his destination, Buffy, Willow and a still-sleepy Dawn made their way into the room. Faith exited the bathroom at nearly the same moment. All eyes fell toward Spike on his hands and knees, disappearing behind Xander's bed.

"Damn, B, you really do have him trained well."

An upturned middle finger was all that could be seen. All smiled as Faith turned to Dawn.

"You doin' ok?"

"Yeah. Fell asleep though. Sorry."

"No big. Thanks. You know, for everything."

This was the first time Dawn had seen Xander conscious, and she flew into his arms. Buffy was alarmed.

"Dawn, his ribs!!"

She tried to pull away, but Xander hung on.

"It's cool, Dawnie. I'm feeling ok."

Buffy shot Faith a questioning look, and she nodded to the exit. Willow followed them out as Dawn stayed inside. Xander took a deep breath and spoke again.

"Are you sure you're ok, Dawn?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. A little sleepy, but---"

He interrupted her as he gently touched the spot on her neck that he'd pressed on to render her temporarily helpless. Now fully understanding his question, she grinned.

"Try to do that to me again and I'll break every bone in your body. Got it?"

"I'm so sorry."

She kissed his cheek.

"Xander, you didn't hurt me. Just get well, ok? Then I can get you back on the sparring mat."

He recoiled in mock horror.

"Uh-uh, no way. The last time we did that I forgot my cup. My grandchildren felt that kick."

Dawn smiled seductively.

"You want me to kiss it and make it better?" As expected, Xander reddened.

"Dawn, cut that out! Faith might hear you and then we're both dead."

"She knows I still have a crush on you, Xand. As long as we don't actually DO anything, I get a free pass to say inappropriate remarks. Plus, the look on your face when I do it gives Faith a happy."

"Well, whatever makes her happy, I guess..."

"Could you bloody stop it already?"

They turned to the corner of the room. Xander spoke first.

"Why don't you turn into a bat and fly out of here?"

"How about I find me a bat and break your other leg good and proper?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Dawn giggled. She'd missed this.

Xander turned back to her, face serious.

"Really, though, are you ok?"

Dawn looked at him with amusement. "Hey, big guy, you're not as tough as you think. It was nothing."

"That's not what I mean."

She just looked puzzled. Xander took her hand

"You saved my life. I can never thank you enough for that."

"Xand, we save each other's lives all the time. How many times have you saved my life?"

"Ok. I just want you to know that I'm here if you want to talk about it."

Dawn shrugged. "What's to talk about? The guy shot at me, but I knew it was coming, so I ducked and rolled. I mean, it was scary, but not Bringers-in-the-dark scary."

Xander looked uncertain as Spike looked up from his vantage point in the corner, suddenly aware where this was going.

"So Xander, do you have any of your blood lying around? You know, some scraps from the head wound. I want some breakfast."

Xander turned to him in annoyance, opening his mouth to retort when he caught Spike's wide-eyed _expression. He clamped his mouth shut and turned back to Dawn, forcing a smile.

Unfortunately Dawn had spotted Spike's none too subtle warning out of the corner of her eye. She glanced from one to the other, eyes now clouded over with suspicion. Both men knew that look. It was over. Xander looked over to the blonde vampire, a pained look on his face. Spike shrugged in resignation.

"Not you fault, mate," was all he said as Dawn stood.

"What's not his fault?"

"Dawnie, I'm so sorry. I thought you knew."

Her tone was dangerously quiet.

"What don't I know?"

"Bit, we were waiting for a good time to tell you."

Dawn responded tonelessly, her face a mask.

"Tell me what, Spike?"

************************************************************

Buffy and Willow were dumbfounded as the three women made their way back from the cafeteria, armed with juices and coffee for everyone. Willow spoke first.

"Are you saying that our spell had a healing side effect?"

Faith shrugged. "Looks like. He says he feels no pain at all. He wants me to take off his cast if the doctor doesn't."

Buffy was smiling. "Cool."

"That's exactly what I said when Xand told me."

They found a tray to place the morning beverages on; Buffy asked Willow to take them on to the room. She left the two Slayers behind without comment. Faith raised a quizzical eyebrow to her sister Slayer.

"What's up, B?"

Buffy responded by putting her arms around her and hugging her tightly. Faith uncertainly returned the embrace, wondering what had brought this on.

"Ummm...is Spike not giving you any, 'cause I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I have a boyfr--"

She broke off as Buffy pulled back, eyes shining with tears.

"You did good."

Suddenly Faith understood and looked at the floor, still unable to completely get used to the intimate link between Xander and Buffy. Finally she peeked back up at a smiling blonde Slayer.

"You think?"

"I know. He's always trying so hard to be strong for me...and for Willow. He's getting better at showing his feelings, but I knew it would have to be you to bring him back."

"I don't think he's all the way back yet."

"No, he isn't, but he's close. He loves you so much. He trusts you as much as he does Willow or me. You do know that, right?"

Faith was trying hard not to cry. "Yeah. He tells me."

Buffy just smiled and took Faith's arm.

"Come on. Meeting time. We need to figure out what we're going to do next."

Faith simply nodded as they walked back into the room. Immediately both Slayers sensed high tension and instinctively stopped to assess the situation. Dawn was standing by the foot of Xander's bed, eyes hooded and arms folded.

Alarm bells sounded in Buffy's head. This was the trademark "Dawn Summers is royally pissed" pose.

"When were you going to tell me?"

Immediately Buffy knew. She just knew. She looked quickly toward Spike, about to say something sharp when Xander interrupted her harsh thought.

"Buffy, it's my fault. I thought she..." He trailed off as Dawn finished for him.

"Knew. He thought I knew. I guess Xander assumed that you people have enough respect for me to tell me the truth."

Buffy walked toward her. "Dawn--" the younger Summers held out her hand. Buffy stopped moving.

"I killed a man. Put my forehead into his nose and drove it right through his brain. Pretty cool, huh?"

A pin could have dropped in the room at that moment. Buffy seemed to be searching for words.

"I was waiting for a good time to tell you."

"Bullshit. You were never going to tell me. You decided I was too much of a child to handle it."

"Dawn, watch your language."

Dawn burst out laughing.

"Watch my language? Are you kidding me? I killed a man!! Someone is not breathing because of me and you're worried about words? How about fucking bullshit? How's that grab ya?"

"Dawn, calm down."

"No. I won't calm down! I can't think of any good reason to be calm right now!"

"It's the way you're acting right now that prevented me from saying anything."

"Well, gee, Buffy, I'm sorry I can't be as mature about it as some of us. Maybe after I've had some coffee I'll have a sense of perspective. Maybe then I'll understand why all of you think you can handle things better than me."

Spike spoke up from his vantage point from the corner.

"Dawn, we decided to wait until we knew where we stood with Xander. Once we went back home, Buffy was going to tell you."

Dawn whipped around to face him, sunlight streaming on her face.

"I don't know why it's a big deal to you. You murder guys who can't even walk. I guess having a soul doesn't mean much."

Silence reigned. William looked as if he'd been slapped.

At that moment a small red dot appeared at the center of Dawn's forehead. From his vantage point on the bed, Xander was the first to see it, instantly recognizing it for what it was.

It was a laser scope from a high-powered rifle.

"Dawnie!!!"

- End Chapter Eleven-